Some secrets should be buried
by malamuteblizzy
Summary: A high school fanfic, all human. There is eventually malec... Sizzy, Clace Alec lives on the street forty percent of his life. He feels like love isn't something he deserves. Can a glittery boy change all that or will Alec suffer alone on the streets of new York forever. . updates every two to three days maybe sooner sometimes.
1. Chapter 1

**okay so i know i have alot of things going on but i couldn't resist posting this. High school fanfic sucked me in. **

**Cassandra Clare own everything.**

**i hope you enjoy it**

**(;**

Alec's life had become brutal.

He had been throw out into the streets when he had told his parents he was gay. He had been olny 14 then. His father had thrown him out and said to kill himself because it was the best thing. He had starved for 4 days, when Isabelle came looking for him and dragged him back home. She was a determined girl. He avoided his parents as much as possible. He stayed on the streets when his parents came home from their trips. They were away on business most of the time and Alec was grateful. Alec would have been full time homeless otherwise. He hadn't told his siblings fearing their reactions and he was't going to tell anyone else.

He had even started dating a girl named Aline. She was a nice girl, but Alec didn't want her. He felt bad to be using her, so he endured the kisses, the attention. Now he was going to start at her school. His siblings and himself were going to school tomorrow. He would be taking the bus to his little place on the street, and his siblings were going home to greet Mayrse and Robert. If he stayed at the house when his father was home, he would be sporting some new bruises. If his father so much as saw him walking down the street he would punch him then and there. He hated Alec and thought he should be dead. Alec had tried to bury that part of himself, and Aline helped. But he still was who he was. He couldn't face the school, and all the torture he would go through. He was never going to tell anyone.

Some secrets are better buried.

Magnus sat with clary Simon and Camille at lunch. He had heard there was going to be new students and he wasn't the least bit surprised when four students walked through the cafeteria doors. One of them he recognized, as Aline Penhallow. She was holding hands with one of the new boys-

He was gorgeous.

He was had midnight hair and crystal blue eyes. He was blushing furiously, and he pulled his hand gently away from Aline's. She frowned, but still walked beside him.

Behind him was a tall boy with blonde hair and -gold- eyes. All the girls were staring at him all googly eyed. Some were staring at the other boy too of course. There was also a girl, she looked remarkably like the boy. She was tall, with her short red dress and shiny black heels. Her hair was raven black, but she didn't have the boys blue eyes. She had eyes that looked black, but were probably a very dark brown in truth. She walked around confidently as well as the Blondie, But the black haired boy lacked their confidence somewhat.

He was jerked out of his reverie when Clary elbowed him. Clary was his girlfriend, but it wasn't very serious between them. She knew Magnus was bi, but she would never bully him about it.

"the blonde boy is so cute, Magnus." Magnus knew she was saying this because she knew magnus would go for him. She didn't like those cocky, arrogant boys.

"yeah that's what everyone seems to think." He replied.

The bell rang and the students were all off to their classes. Magnus had English next.

He hated english.

Alec wanted to get away from Aline. She was a nice girl, but so clingy. Besides, she wasn't Alec's type. But he would never fall in love, find a type. He reminded himself sternly. For that to happen, he would have to become comfortable with being gay, and he wasn't obviously.

He zoned out through most of the lesson, like he always did. He had bigger problems than his grades. He would be living in the street for the next week and a half and he wasn't sure how he was going to conceal it. He would be dirty when his parents finally left for Texas. They would be gone for two months, thank god. But he had to make sure that his father didn't see him or he would be bruised and bloody. His father might even go farther than that. Alec shivered involuntarily.

Alec felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned and looked up at a very tall boy, with hazel eyes and flopping black hair. He looked like he was Indonesian, because of his skin tone and the slight curve of his eyes.

"don't you have to be somewhere". He said, grinning down at Alec.

Alec stared around in confusion. Oh, he thought. Class was over.

"thanks." He said, getting up.

He didn't want to be late on his first day at the new school.

" Magnus." He said extending a hand. Alec hesitated before shaking it.

"Alec."

Magnus was mad at the new boy, Alec. The way he had hesitated before shaking Magnus's hand. He had almost acted like Magnus was a disease. The boy was probably a stinking homophobe. He had wanted to hit the boy.

Next time Alec was going to be late for class, Magnus was going to let him be late.

School ended like it always did, with Magnus saying goodbye to Clary, then heading for his vehicle. He saw the Lightwood's across the parking lot about 300 feet.

he caught tidbits of the conversation and it sounded like Alec was arguing with his brother and sister.

"i will be back in two weeks Iz." Alec said.

"scared...dad...back soon."

"taking the bus." Alec responded his hands in his pockets.

"See you tomorrow." Said the other boy, i think his name was jace. He shrugged turning away from Alec. Alec headed in the opposite direction of his siblings. The other two were still arguing as they walked.

He wondered where Alec was going.

It as none of his business.

Alec boarded the bus and got off close to his usual place. This was usual. He was walking down the street hurriedly when he accidentally bumped into someone on the phone. The man was wearing a suit, and when he turned to look at Alec, he almost screamed.

"you piece of shit." Robert sneered, and much too Alec's surprise he punched Alec in the face. Alec fell to his knees, clutching his jaw. Robert gave him a kick and then continued down the street like nothing had happened, leaving Alec alone in New York.

Magnus had a big party planned that night so he rushed home. He had even invited the Lightwoods.

It was around 8 when the room started to fill up, and around 11 then the party actually started. He noticed Isabelle drinking alone in a corner, and approached her.

"did your brother come along." Magnus asked casually.

A shadowed look passed over her face before she said

" Jace is over there i think." Isabelle said pointing.

"no, Alec." He replied.

Isabelle flinched when i said the words then shook her head.

Where had the boy gone?

Most of the party was a blur.

He caught sight of Aline, and his the scene came into focus. Aline was passionately kissing Will, a boy whom looked similar to Alec.

Had she thought Alec was Will?

But from her words Magnus was convinced this was not the case.

" ohh. will. you are a good kisser." She was obviously drunk.

Alec was not going to be happy to hear about this.

Magnus didn't see Alec until sixth period. He was leaned up against his locker, his hood up, concealing his face. He was dressed in all black on top with a black hoodie and shirt, and he wore worn jeans on the bottom. His head was tilted back.

"are you okay." Magnus asked and Alec jumped, his hood falling back. Magnus stifled a gasp.

He had a nasty bruise in his jaw and he also had a split lip. His hair was ruffled, and there was dried blood on his forehead where he had been cut. Alec looked bad.

"god. Alec. what happened to you." Magnus whispered.

Ale smiled the ghost of a smile.

" nothing."

His tone made Magnus drop the subject. He didn't want to deliver the news to this boy who looked broken.

"i saw Aline kissing will last night." He blurted, but Alec only shrugged like he could care less. Magnus put a hand on his shoulder, but he flinched away.

Magnus was suddenly furious.

"don't wanna touch the fag i see. Stupid homophobes." Magnus said turning his back on a pathetic looking Alec. He heard Alec swear when his siblings came rushing towards Alec and Jace said something like

"...father?."

But magnus was gone before he could hear anything else. He wasn't sure he could bear to hear more.


	2. Chapter 2

**okay I posted this in a hurry. It is kind of crappy chapter. Please review it keeps me writing. Also any ideas? I will probably post an update tomorrow. **

**Cassandra Clare owns everything**

**I hope you enjoy**

**(:**

Alec was aching all over. His forehead, lip and jaw were on fire, and he felt like he should hate his father. For doing this to him time and time again, but he couldn't. Alec felt like he deserved this, it was the only was to punish himself. He almost banged his head over a locker whe Magns had come to talk to him. When Magnus had touched Alec's shoulder, He had touched a bruise that he got when he fell. but Magnus thought something different.

Magnus actually thought Alec was homophobic.

Alec must be a better actor than he thought.

He wasn't sure what he should do about Aline. Magnus said she had kissed will , but he could care less. But what would a normal person do? Dump her?

His siblings were concerned about him, of course. They didn't know why Alec was gone most of the time. They knew his father hated Alec. But they didn't know his secret. They had come to him and looked at his bruises. Alec had told them it was father who had done it.

They had no idea.

There was gossip about the new kid Alec. It was all about Aline, and him dumping her, him not dumping her, Aline dating will.

Magnus didn't really care did he?

He was caught off guard when he saw his girlfriend, passionately kissing the new boy, Jace. Jace's hands were tangled in Clary's hair, and Clary moaned. Magnus cleared his throat loudly.

The two looked at Magnus with mixed expressions of shame and annoyance.

"Magnus..." Clary began. I wasn't that mad exactly. I just wished she would have told me she was interested in Jace. U hoped Jace wouldn't break her heart.

i raised my eyebrows in response.

"clary..?" Jace asked, clearly unsure of who i was.

"well, this is not the least bit unexpected. I wish you would have told me and i wold have broken it off. But you went behind my back instead?Really Clary." I turned on my heel and stalked from the room, leaving a confused Jace and a shocked Clary behind.

Magnus had History next. He was on his way to the history room, and he heard the most beautiful piano playing. The notes flowed in sync, and he was drawn towards the noise.

He was shocked to see Alec sitting on the bench, his eyes closed , fingers moving over the keys gracefully.

Alec could play?

Before Alec noticed his presence, Magnus backed out of the room.

More mysteries to solve about Alec lightwood.

Alec had learned to play the piano with Jace when he was a little kid. It was just another thing they shared as brother and sister. Jace never played anymore, but it calmed Alec down, and muted his thoughts. He played his sorrow, his anger, his fears. The music got faster and louder, then Alec stopped panting. He opened his eyes. Thank god the room was empty. Alec grabbed his things and scurried down the hall hoping nobody noticed him. Too late.

Aline stood in front of Alec, blocking his way.

she had her hands planted on her hips.

"i am breaking up with you.' She declared. If she hoped to get a reaction from Alec, she didn't .

He shrugged, continuing down the hallway. He felt eyes on him as he moved past.

he didn't care if they saw his face covered in bruises.

A bigger boy stepped in front of Alec, rubbing his hands together.

This was exactly what he needed. Not

"did daddy do that to you?" The boy said in a mocking tone.

How had he known that?

"I saw you yesterday, that man who clocked you. was he your daddy?" Alec just brushed by him, trying to hide his facial expression.

He heard laughs echoing through the hall.

Magnus felt sorry for Alec.

A man had hit him? His father possibly?

After school, he found Alec in the bleachers, toying with his cell phone. He hadn't met up with his siblings like he usually did. But magus hadn't met up with Clary like he usually did.

"you okay?" he asked Alec who looked up at him with surprised blue eyes.

"Honestly, no." The other boy answered.

" what's wrong?" Magnus asked the boy, but he was already half sure of what the answer was going to be.

"I'm not really sure I should tell you." Alec answered looking at Magnus suspiciously.

"was it really your dad." Magnus asked.

Alec nodded hesitantly.

"look, I am sorry for the way I acted earlier, I flinched because I had a bruise on my arm, not because you, you know. "

not Magnus felt bad.

"and don't call yourself that word." He continued looking apologetic.

"oh?" Magnus answered.

"yeah." Alec said, looking at his hands.

"sorry about Aline." He said, looking at Alec's expression.

he shrugged.

"I wasn't really into her."

Magnus nodded, though he was a little confused. Maybe he wasn't a homophobe, maybe he was. Magnus was going to get his answers, one way or another.

He wasn't sure why he had told Magnus all those things about himself. But he was tired of keeping his feelings in a box. It felt good to spill even only a little bit. He went to his usual place after that, and slept curled up in an alley. Alec was half sure he had reopened the wound on his forehead, but for once, all he did was sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**hi, i probably wont be posting until next Monday, because i'm having a busy week, but i might find time on Wednesday. So i posted an extra long chapter. **

**Cassandra Clare owns everything sadly. **

**(:**

Alec probably looked like a mess. His hair tangled, blood and grime on his skin.

But he was to the point that he didn't care anymore.

Though, he did go to the bathroom and wash the dried blood off his face. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and wished he could punch it. But he couldn't pay for a new mirror. He only had about 5300 dollars saved up for a place, from doing hours of yard work for the neighbors, and the job he managed to get a coffee shop for a year, but he stopped coming to work.

the last thing Alec was going to do is beg for money. He had always thought those people pathetic, but now he understood. They did it because they needed money to survive.

but he was only half homeless.

kinda.

He was still wearing the clothes he had been two days ago, so he would have to ask Jace or Isabelle to bring him a change of clothes. Something plain and simple, and black.

He didn't look half bad when he finished in the bathroom, but he still had to deal with the bruises and cut on his forehead. His split lip burned.

But after all, it is what you deserve.

Alec thought, walking down the halls. He was hoping no one stopped to talk to him. He sat through English and history and math, not really paying any attention to what the teachers were saying.

"alec?" said a familiar voice. It was Magnus standing behind him, his eyebrows raised.

"huh? what?" He said, a little harsher than intended.

"geesh. I was going to invite you to my party. Do you want to come?"

Alec had no desire to go to a party and get drunk. He had to have a clear head while he was out on his own.

but he was still mad at himself for being rude to this boy. So he agreed, reluctantly.

Alec was not going to drink. Drinking might reveal more things about himself. He couldn't afford for that to happen.

"thanks Alexander." Magnus said turning away.

Alexander.

huh?

Magnus was glad Alec had agreed to o to his party. Because maybe he would open up and tell Magnus something. He couldn't keep the smile off of his face.

until he saw Clary. She was waling with Simon, and they were headed towards him. He tried to move away, but Simon caught his arm. He was remarkably fast for such a skinny boy. Magnus supposed he was sort of cute, but definitely not the dating type.

"what?" Magnus said letting a good amount of acid creep into his voice.

"Clary is sorry. Talk to her please Magnus." Simon pleaded.

"fine. But my time is valuable."

Clary approached them, her books clutched to her chest.

"Magnus I am so sorry." She said, her eyes big and huge in her pale face.

"I believe you Clary."Magnus answered.

"I am so sorry." She repeated, biting her lip.

"I know." He said impatiently.

She kissed him on the lips then, just a peck, and Magnus was to surprised to move.

"so,bye?" the smaller girl asked.

"see you tonight then?" Magnus asked.

"your inviting everyone?" She asked.

"yes, I am inviting Jace and the lightwoods." Magnus answered.

Clary knew that he had parties like every other day.

"we're over right?"Magnus said.

she smiled at him.

"friends."

Magnus couldn't agree more.

Clary left then, Simon awkwardly following.

Magnus turned, and to his surprise he saw Alec, leaning against his locker, grinning at Magnus.

So he'd seen it all.

"happily ever after." Alec said.

Magnus snorted.

Alec decided to go to the party.

He hoped it wasn't a bad decision, agreeing to go.

Isabelle had picked out an outfit for him, one that he would not have chosen for himself. In the bag was a pair of new jeans, and a white button up t-shirt.

Ugh. White was the worst color, because the dirt shows so easily. So he had made Isabelle promise to bring him a black tee the next day. She was not one to break her promises.

So he changed after school and hopped in with Isabelle and Jace. The car their parents bought Jace was very expensive. Since Alec was gone, they were so proud of their son.

Because he wasn't gay.

So they had spent thousands on a nice car for Jace on his birthday and would give him whatever he wanted, anytime. Even though Jace was their adopted son.

They got to Magnus's at 9 and the place was already crowded. People were dancing to the loud music coming from the speakers. He looked around, and was surprised. Magnus lived in a big house.

The room they had come into had a piano in the corner, and Alec smiled.

The ceilings were high, and the windows were large. Their was no couches or TV though. He probably took them out because he parties so much.

Alec went into the kitchen, and took a seat. He didn't feel like drinking, and he was a horrible dancer. Magnus came into the room, holding a half empty beer bottle. So Magnus liked drinking.

"why are you in here?" Magnus asked, but he didn't slur his words so he wasn't too drunk yet.

Alec shrugged.

"parties aren't my thing." he answered, his arms crossed over his chest.

Magnus was surprised to see Alec sitting in the kitchen. Magnus thought he would be dancing with a random girl already. He was handsome and a lot of girls wanted him. He had even heard Camille talking about him dreamily. Magnus wasn't the only one who thought Alec was gorgeous.

parties aren't his thing? That's terrible.

"that is truly a shame." He answered voicing his thoughts.

Just then Jace walked in, a group of girls following him. They whispered excitedly when they saw Alec.

"bonding with Magnus Alec?" Jace said.

Alec just shrugged.

He saw Camille in the group of girls, and her eyes were on Alec. Though Alec was more interested in his shoes, to notice her. Camille was also very pretty, with her blonde hair and green eyes. He doubted that they wouldn't be in a relationship within the next week.

sighing, Magnus left the didn't want to see Alec kissing other people.

Other girls.

Alec sat in his seat and Jace eventually left, the group of girls following him too. Alec was surprised to look up and see one of the girls had stayed behind.

She had long blonde hair that was very straight, and green eyes.

Alec supposed she was pretty,but he obviously wasn't interested.

She blinked at him.

"Your Alec right?" She said.

Alec nodded.

"well, I am Magnus's friend, Camille." She said extending a hand.

Alec nodded.

"well,...

Camille

She closed the small distance between them, crushing her lips on his. Alec looked frozen in shock. Surely he kissed girls all the time? Alec relaxed, letting her kiss him.

All was right in the world.

Alec

Alec wasn't sure why he was kissing her. Maybe to show everyone that he wasn't gay?

He was obligated to kiss her back right?

But that would mean he would have to use her like he used Aline. To see her everyday, and have to hug her and kiss her.

It wasn't fair to Camille.

But what if he pulled away? Camille was every guy's type. He would make people suspicious.

Magnus

He walked back into the kitchen, to dispose of his empty bottle, when he saw Alec.

Alec kissing Camille.

He wasn't surprised really, it was to be expected.

He was flabbergasted when Alec pulled away. Camille looked shocked.

"you don't want to kiss me?" She pouted.

"I don't think I want a girlfriend." Alec answered.

Camille raised her eyebrows.

"yet." Alec amended.

Then Camille noticed Magnus.

"hi Mags." She said, disentangling herself from Alec. He saw something flicker in Alec's eyes, then a shadowed look came across his face.

"hey." He said, looking from Camille to Alec.

Alec didn't say anything.

He just walked from the room, like nothing had happened. He heard the slam of a door, probably Alec leaving.

Magnus followed him out the door.

Alec

He wished he could just go home.

A home where his parents were nonexistent.

He stormed off, looking for a bus station.

He swore, then turned to go back to the house and ask someone.

"Alec?" The voice was familiar.

Alec turned to see Magnus, who looked at Alec with concern.

Alec wished people would stop caring about him. So they wouldn't be concerned.

"what?" Alec said sharply.

"are you okay? I'm sure kissing Camille isn't all that bad." Magnus said with a smile.

Alec shrugged.

"why were you so upset?" Magnus asked.

Because I'm gay and I don't want a girlfriend.

"Because I was surprised." Alec answered instead.

"surely girls kiss you all the time. Your beautiful." Magnus replied.

Alec was glad it was dark so Magnus didn't see him blush.

"nope." Alec answered.

"shame." Magnus replied softly.

"do you know where the bus station is?" Alec asked breaking the moment.

"down the road a block or so." Magnus answered.

Magnus

Before Alec could walk away, Magnus asked him a question.

"why don't you just go home with Isabelle and Jace?" He said.

there was a long moment before Alec answered.

"I am avoiding home I guess."

"because your father punched you?" Magnus asked.

He felt Alec freeze.

"I guess. Please don't tell anyone Magnus." There was a strange note in Alec's voice and Magnus agreed.

Alec turned away from Magnus and walked down the street.

Alec curled up on a bench, to sleep on.

He was woken up when someone tapped him on the shoulder.

"you alone kid?" The man asked.

Alec nodded.

"you homeless?"

When Alec didn't answer, The man ruffled through his pockets and pulled out a wad of bills.

"nope." Alec decided. He took nobody's money.

" look awful." The man replied, shoving the bills in Alec's face.

"I really don't want your money." He answered.

"you are strange. Most would take it."

"bye." Alec replied.

"suit yourself kid." The man stuffed his money back in his pocket and turned to walk down the street.

New York was a strange place.

Magnus had to go and get coffee for his mother. Ugh, now he was going to be late for school.

He saw beggars a lot in New York, but this was strange. There appeared to be a homeless boy on the bench, and a man approached him. They exchanged a few sentences, and then the man pulled a thick wad of bills out from his pocket, and held it out to the boy. It was no doubt he was going to take it, even if he wasn't homeless.

But the boy said something and the man put his bills away, then walked away. The boy shifted in his seat and Magnus realized with a jolt who it was.

It was Alec. He had undoubtedly slept on the bench. His hair was wild, his jeans and shirt both wrinkled. When Alec had said that he was avoiding home, he had meant it. But how long was he going to stay away for?

He turned to approach Alec, but he was out of his seat an jogging the other way. But he hadn't even seen Magnus, why would he run? Then Magnus saw an older man following him, He was dressed in a suit and was on the phone with someone. The man hung up on the person he had been talking to and broke into a run, catching up to Alec.

He grabbed Alec by his shirt, and threw him to the ground brutally. Alec struggled into a sitting position, and stood, facing the man.

"you little bastard." The man sneered, looking at Alec with disgust. What could Alec have done for this person to do this?

"I thought I told you to go and kill yourself". He continued, raising his fist, and Alec fell to his knees, clutching his nose. It must have been bleeding.

Magnus was frozen in horror.

He kicked Alec, and he fell over on his back.

"stop Father." He pleaded, clutching his nose with bloody hands.

So this was his father.

Alec sat on the ground, beaten and bloody, looking and sounding foolish. He knew it.

"you can't say you don't deserve it?" Robert sneered.

Alec didn't say anything. Because he knew he deserved it.

"if you were normal, than you wouldn't be here. But, sadly , that is not to be." Robert said, kicking Alec again. Alec's ribs were burning, but he didn't move a muscle, just let his father kick him, again and again, because he knew this was what he deserved.

"see you soon!" Robert said cheerfully, and then walked away.

Alec laid there for a while, before he sat up. he was not going to school today.

"ALEC!?" shouted a familiar voice. It was Magnus. Great, another thing he would have to explain.

He hoped Magnus hadn't seen what had happened.

"why did he do that?" Magnus demanded, his voice rising.

Alec shrugged, though it was painful.

"shrug?" Magnus asked, his eyes blazing with fury.

"he did it because he hates me." Alec said, rising to his feet. Magnus rushed over to him, silently helping Alec steady himself, Magnus's hands on the other boy's hips, then his shoulders.

"are you alright?" Magnus asked concern sculpting his features.

" no." Alec answered truthfully.

He let Magnus hold him up as they walked down the street.

"what did he mean by there is something wrong with you?" Magnus asked angrily.

Alec was sure the anger was directed at his father.

"it's complicated." Alec replied.

"complicated? or you just don't wanna tell me?" There was hurt in the other boy's eyes.

"look he has hated me since i was fourteen. He threw me out. I stay away form the house when he is home, but that isn't often. I f he sees me he-" Alec broke off realizing he may have said to much.

'please don't tell anyone." Alec pleaded.

Magnus looks at him for a moment before he says

"okay."

Alec stays at Magnus's house for the day., after school. He had went, but school was almost over already when the bell rung.

He sat on the edge of Magnus's bed, studying the other boy.

He had dark hair like Alec, and gold green eyes. He was very tall as well.

Alec knew magnus was being too nice to him.

"why did you let me stay here?" Alec asked Magnus, who was sitting by the window in a chair.

"because i felt sorry for you." Magnus answered.

Alec didn't say anything.

"how is your nose?" Magnus asked.

"fine." Alec answered, and it was true. It didn't sting like it had before. It probably wasn't broken, thank the lord.

"fine, shrug, okay. Do you not like to talk much?" Magnus asked him.

Alec shrugged, smiling.

Magnus threw a pillow at him.

When they stopped laughing Magnus studied Alec's face.

"you don't laugh much either." Magnus said.

Well, it was true, Alec never laughed, because he never had a reason to.

"sorry." Alec said.

Magnus smiled.

"it's okay."


	4. Chapter 4

**okay, sorry for the late update, no internet where i was. i decided to add more sizzy and clace, and i still need to decide about wessa and jessa and gecily. Some ideas would be nice. **

**Should i put all the infernal devices pairings in? **

**Or leave it how it is?**

**Did you guys even like this chapter?**

**was camping a bad idea altogether?**

**Everything**** belongs to Cassandra Clare **

**Pleas read and review, it keeps me posting!**

**(:**

Alec tried to avoid seeing his siblings. He wished they didn't have to see The bruises and cuts. It would just make them feel sorry for him. What he didn't need was pity.

But pity is always better than hatred.

Magnus actually had a good time with Alec, when he thought they would just sit around in awkward silence. They had talked for a while, and Magnus was glad to be getting to know the new boy, Alec. There were still some things Magnus wanted to know. Like why his father hates him.

But Magnus hadn't told Alec much either.

Simon

There was talk about Clary and Jace.

It made Simon furious that Clary would go for someone that dumps girls practically every five minutes. He got over Clary as a girlfriend a long time ago, and he had been the one to break up with her. He had realized that she didn't really like him that way, but it had been hard.

He walked down the halls, trying his best not to attract any attention.

He saw Clary, and walked over to her.

"hey Fray." He said, looking down at her.

"hi Simon." She answered, digging through her locker. She pulled out a book, but Simon didn't care enough to see what the title was.

He wanted to tell her that she should call it off with Jace, because he was a player. But the words wouldn't come.

It took him a few minutes to realize Clary was staring at him, looking expectant.

"oh, um..." Simon said, but he never got to finish his sentence, because Clary saw Jace just then and walked over to him eagerly. She didn't even look at Simon. He was frustrated.

Clary wouldn't even listen to what he had to say, and ignored him when Jace was around. Maybe their friendship wasn't so good after all.

Simon saw her talking to him, but he wasn't looking at her.

He turned away, not bothering to see what happened next.

Simon got a call later that day, from clary and picked up after the 5th or 6th ring.

"hi." He said mildly.

"i know your mad at me Simon." Clary said.

"oh?" He replied.

"you have every right to be mad at me for walking off like that, but i am sorry you know." She continued.

"well, i just think you need to think before you get involved with Jace. He will just break your heart Clary." This was much easier to explain on the phone than in person.

"I don't know Simon. I think I should give him a chance. It's not like we are all that serious."

Don't blame me if he breaks your heart then. Simon thought, but all he said was

"okay."

Magnus tried to find Alec, but he had probably already left after the bell rung.

He wanted to see if Alec was okay, after last night. But of course he wasn't okay.

Who would be after being treated like that?

Alec left for the usual place after school.

He wondered if his life would always be this hard.

Would he always be living on the street like this?

Sighing, he curled up on the bench and closed his eyes.

Isabelle was in the car with Jace, driving to his date with Clary. Jace was going to Clary's, then Isabelle would drive to her date with Meliorn, and they would no doubt have a fabulous time.

The car pulled into the driveway, and Isabelle saw with some surprise Clary hugging someone, a boy. He was taller than her by a good 7 inches. Isabelle heard the slam of the car door and knew jace was going to get involved.

"who's this?" He asked, pointing a finger at the boy accusingly.

The boy turned and Isabelle sucked in a breath.

He had chestnut brown hair falling in his eyes, and warm chocolate brown eyes. He was wearing a gamer t shirt and faded jeans.

In an odd sort of way he was cute.

Isabelle snapped out of her thoughts, terrified.

He wasn't her type, not really. Right?

"oh, i didn't think it was against the law to hug Clary." The boy said, then shrugged.

"it's against the man code, weasel."

"it's not weasel, it's Simon. I'm her best friend." Simon gestured towards Clary.

"whatever." Jace said shoving his hands into his pockets. This was unlike Jace.

Was he nervous?

"Alec?" asked Isabelle, waving a hand in front of her brother's face. He seemed tired, but then again that's how he always was these days.

"i just asked you if you wanted to go camping." She continued, agitated.

"seriously? you want to go camping?" His tone was incredulous. What was his problem?

"yeah. Magnus, Will, Aline, Jem, Tessa, Simon, Clary, Gabriel, Cecily, Maia -

" enough names. I'll go." He rolled his eyes when she squealed.

"yes." Isabelle said under her breath.

this was going to be fun.

The last thing Alec wanted to do was go camping. But everyone else was going, and he already stuck out like a sore thumb. but he admitted to himself he had wanted to spend more time with his siblings. That was really the olny bonus.

Alec had asked Isabelle to pack jeans and t-shirt for him to wear, and she did. She had handed him a duffel bag, and he had put it in the back of Jordan's truck. They were camping in the woods somewhere, just for the weekend. The car ride was very awkward, as they sat in silence.

The place Isabelle had picked out was surrounded by gigantic tall trees, and ruthless brush. They had to fight for room for all the tents to fit. Alec had brought his one man tent, but there was no room. He decided he would figure it out after the campfire that had been planned for the evening. It wasn't his first time camping, but his memories were all painful where his father was concerned. His father had once looked at him with love and pride and joy, and was the father he should have been. But now Alec knew he had probably been faking it. Nobody loved Alec Lightwood. They couldn't possibly.


	5. Chapter 5

**i decided to quote a song every chapter from now on. i chose skyscraper...**

**This was a really hard chapter to write, i had serious writers block. It might be kinda crappy, but oh well.**

**hope you enjoy it...**

**(:**

**You can take everything I have**

** You can break everything I am **

**Like I'm made of glass**

** Like I'm made of paper **

**Go on and try to tear me down I will be rising from the ground**

**Like a skyscraper!Like a skyscraper!**

Alec was sitting around the campfire, watching the flames in colors of orange and blue. . He supposed this could be what an angel's wings looked like, if they existed. The light orange flames blossoming from the angel's back, moving and changing with a divine dangerous beauty.

if only.

Simon was trying to remember the last time he'd set up a tent. Oh wait, that would be never.

He let out an exasperated breath.

He took a step forward, but this proved to be a mistake. He tripped over a metal rod,meant to hold the tent upright. He heard a soft chuckle form nearby. He felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment. Someone had seen him struggling with tent setup? Well to be fair, it was dark, the stars blazing with light above. Hard to set up a tent even with the help of his lantern.

"having trouble?" The voice was female, unfamiliar. A figure stepped out of the shadows into the range of Simon's lantern. He couldn't see her that clearly, but he could tell she was tall, with dark long hair.

"um, a little bit yeah." He answered, hoping the mysterious girl couldn't see his face.

"here, let me help." She said, picking up a rod and inspecting it.

"okay." He said , gulping. She had better know more about tents than he did.

Soon everyone was seated around the fire, which blazed with beautiful light. They all sat in silence for a moment, until Magnus spoke.

"where is Simon?" He asked, but Alec couldn't see his expression.

"yeah, and Isabelle." Added Jace, who was rubbing his hands together in front of the fire.

"Maybe they're together. " Responded Clary, who was seated next to Jace.

"right." Jace said, with the most sarcasm he could muster. He was right, it was unlikely. That Isabelle would go for Simon, the geeky boy into gaming and everything she wasn't. Isabelle was glamorous and went for guys that annoyed their parents.

Sure enough, he saw two figures approach from the darkness. They were standing fairly close together too.

Simon and Isabelle.

He wanted to say something to Jace, but couldn't find the words. Or laugh.

They carried chairs, and placed them in the circle around the campfire.

"what did I miss?" Isabelle asked.

"I could ask you the same thing." Jace answered.

He could imagine Isabelle's expression.

"whatever." She said, her tone even.

"we should do something." Interrupted Magnus, loudly.

"like what?" Alec said, still looking at the fire.

Magnus

Magnus could see the fire reflected in his eyes. The flames danced across his beautiful blue iris's.

He could tell Alec was trapped in a reverie. Maybe he was remembering something from his past, the thing Magnus needed to know more about.

"um, i don't know. We could..." He said, not having the slightest idea.

"go to sleep?" Isabelle suggested, with a yawn.

Magnus was tired, so her offer was tempting.

"yeah. Especially considering the amount of effort it took to set up the damn tent." Simon said smiling.

Isabelle laughed softly.

Some sort of inside joke?

"sleeping arrangements?" Alec asked.

"well, Isabelle brought her 4 man tent, but it really olny holds 2 people comfortably with stuff." Jace said.

"I brought a one man tent, but it doesn't fit." Said Alec.

Magnus felt a pang of sympathy for Alec. He slept on the ground so much...

"you can camp out in my 4 man." Answered Jace plainly.

"thanks." Alec said.

"what about me?" Clary asked.

"you can camp with Isabelle in her tent." Jace replied.

"alright, fine." She said, but Magnus heard the disappointment in her voice.

He heard the rustle of bushes as another group of campers came to join them. It was the gang from Magnus's old school.

Will was standing in the front of the group, Jem and Tessa on either side of him. There was a complex relationship between the three of them. They all loved each other, but their were complications. Will had once asked , Magnus for help, regarding Jem and Tessa. He hadn't really been the best person to ask, even if he had been in so many relationships.

"Hello everyone!" greeted Tessa cheerfully. She was walking on the right side of Will, their fingers locked. She was obviously happy. Magnus wondered how Jem and Will felt about this whole mess. He hoped Will was happy.

"yeah." Added Gabriel , who was walking beside Cecily, who was Will's sister. They appeared to be dating, much to Will's annoyance. He had sort of as long standing feud going with the older boy, ever since Will broke his arm. It was amusing really.

Jessamine was walking behind the group, she probably got dragged into this trip by her parents. They demanded she get out of the house more often. He felt sorry for the girl, having to do so many things she didn't want to. Sophie and Gideon were a little ahead, having no doubt a gushy conversation.

"we set up the tents already." Announced Charlotte, who was recently engaged to Henry. They were getting married in about 11 months, at age nineteen.

"okay." Jace answered, but he sounded confused.

He was probably wondering why so many strangers had wandered into the camp.

"oh! i think introductions are in order." He said, looking from Will to Jace.

"I am Will, Next to me is Jem- he motioned towards the silver haired boy- and Tessa." He held up her hand.

"okay. My name is Jace, the incredibly attractive one. That over there-" He said gesturing towards Simon.- is weasel face. Next to him is my sister Isabelle and the gorgeous redhead is my girlfriend, Clary. Seated next to her is Magnus,-

When Will heard Jace say Magnus's name, a smile played on his lips, a smile of recognition.

"and the one sulking in the chair next to him is my brother, Alec."

Alec made a noise of protest.

"were all off to bed." said Cecily, who glanced and Gabriel.

"yeah." Answered Simon.

The group stood there in silence for a moment before leaving.

"who were they?" Asked Clary.

"they went to my old school. I thought it might be fun if they came."

Alec couldn't sleep. He kept thinking about his father, his family.

He didn't want to think about his family,

and max.

the boy who died because he was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

He needed air. It was getting stuffy in the tent with Jace.

He needed to clear his head.

he didn't even bother putting on a coat, even though it was exceptionally cold outside.

He brought a lantern, but he could still only see about three feet in front of him. It was surprisingly dark outside. In New York, it was almost impossible to see the stars.

They were brilliant.

He didn't know any constellations though. His head was turned up to the stars, so he wasn't looking in front of him, even if that was only three feet. He bumped into something and he reflexively kicked out. His foot connected and he heard a groan.

OOPS.

"sorry." Alec stammered.

"Alec?" the voice asked. Alec knew who it was immediately. Magnus.

"yeah so sorry." Alec repeated. He meant it.

"it's okay." The other boy replied.

"why are you up?" Magnus asked.

"i needed to clear my head." he answered.

"oh really? Me too." Magnus replied looking up at the stars.

Alec felt so bad, but any apology he could think of sounded stupid.

"sorry." He said instead.

"hey, it's okay." Magnus's voice was soft.

Good.

"that's a relief, Alec answered closing his eyes.

"why are you out here Magnus."Alec asked.

"looking at the stars." Magnus answered, and Alec could feel the weight of his gaze. Alec wished he could see Magnus clearly.

See his beautiful hazel eyes, his tall lean frame, his uneven raven hair.

"cool." Alec replied lamely.

He could almost see Magnus's grin.

"what did you need to clear your head about?" Magnus asked. Magnus already knew alot about his father, so what was the harm in telling him?

"my father." He said.

"oh." Magnus replied.

"why did he do it?"

why did magnus have to ask all these questions?

"because he hates me." Alec answered.

He heard Magnus sigh.

That probably wasn't the answer he wanted.

"okay Alec."

Clary was having a nightmare.

_" clary, i love you.'' It was Jace. _

_"i love you too Jace." I replied. _

_"i needed to say it. Just once." He said. _

_"Jace?" Something was wrong with him. _

_"goodbye Clary. I love you." _

_The scene changed._

_She sat in a pew, and she felt tears streaking down her face. She wiped them away with a gloved hand. _

_She realized she was at a funeral. dressed in all black. _

_"we gather today to celebrate the life of Jace Herondale." _

She sat blot upright in her sleeping bag, panting.

"are you okay?" She heard Isabelle say.

"yeah." She replied, but her voice sounded shaky to her own ears.

"are you sure? Your crying?"

She touched her hand to her cheek, and Isabelle was right. Her cheek was wet.

"i had a nightmare." She said.

"oh." The other girl replied.

Jace sat on the dock, overlooking the sunrise. He thought sunrise was the most beautiful time of day, the sky lit with colors of orange and pink. He sat there thinking he could have changed so many things.

Things with Alec.

He didn't know what was going on with the other boy. Did he leave because of him? The thought was too much to bear.

He had heard Alec whimpering in his sleep, like he was having a nightmare.

Was this all his fault?

Did he deserve to live anymore?


	6. Chapter 6

Tessa rummaged through her suitcase, trying to find something that would impress Will.

She stopped herself. Why should she have to impress him?She didn't think he cared what she wore. He had once told her she looked beautiful in everything. But she still found herself wanting to impress him. Maybe it was because she didn't want to lose him.

She feared he would leave her if she didn't wear something glamorous, or amazing. She wished she could be more like Jessie, with her amazing fashion sense. Jessie always wore the most beautiful and up to date clothes.

She ended up picking out a pair of faded jeans, and a simple white v neck.

Magnus had planned the trip, and he decided they were all going boating. Tessa hoped she wouldn't have to participate, since she'd never even been camping , much less boating. Their was a lake nearby, and Magnus had bought six or seven inflatable kayak's, for the group to use.

She stood on the rocky shore of the lake, looking out at the water. It was almost glassy calm out there. perfect for boating.

"who wants to go first?" Asked Magnus cheerfully. The had all gathered on the lake's edge.

"Tessa?" Asked a voice as familiar as her own. Will.

He was dressed in khaki shorts and a plain blue t shirt, and she could see the muscles under his shirt.

"what?" She answered.

"want to go out with me?" She was confused. She thought they were already going out.

He must have seen the look on her face because he said

"out in the raft, Tess."

Oh, stupid.

"yeah sure." She replied mildly, though she didn't want to. But might as well.

"okay." He answered grabbing two life jackets from the pile. He threw one life jacket over to her and started buckling up his own. She shrugged on the flotation device, and fastened in on. It felt weird and bulky.

But Will looked even more uncomfortable than she did. The jacket was tight on Will.

Will sat on the opposite side of the boat as her, and was smiling crookedly.

"have you ever been in a boat before?" He asked. She shook her head in response.

The boy Jace had referred to as weasel face pushed them out into the water. She felt bad calling him that. If only she knew his real name.

They floated farther out for a few yards, then Will started to paddle. They glided along, and Will didn't even break a sweat. He had always been strong, ever since she'd known him.

He stopped paddling and looked at her, smiling.

"are you enjoying this?" He asked in his graceful welsh accent, that she loved.

"I am." She answered.

His grin widened.

Alec wasn't sure why he'd come with Jace. He'd wanted to go take a swim with Clary, though he was told the others were boating in inflatable Kayaks. He sighed. Jace seemed on edge lately. But he hadn't felt like declining Jace's offer. He'd melted at the sadness in his eyes. He wondered what could be bothering perfect Jace.

He walked beside Clary, in silence. They were meeting Jace at the dock, at the lake. He wasn't sure of what to say to Jace's girlfriend. She looked like she had just finished crying.

"are you okay?" He asked.

She managed a smile.

"yeah." She replied.

If he was her he wouldn't want someone to ask why he was crying, so he didn't.

They walked the rest of the way in silence, not really sure what to say to each other.

Jace was glad Alec had come to the lake with Clary. He felt like he needed to apologize, even if it was probably too late. He saw Clary and Alec approaching, and prepared himself.

"Hey!" Clary called, a friendly smile on her face. Alec's expression remained blank, as always. He saw something flicker in his eyes though, but it was gone to quickly for Jace to identify it's meaning.

"Hi clary." Jace replied, looking at Alec. But Alec didn't notice his staring. He had his head tilted to the sky, his eyes closed.

"Alec?" Jace asked. The other boy opened his eyes and looked at Jace.

"Yeah?" He answered.

"Can i talk to you for a minute?" He asked, not looking at Clary.

"Alone?" His girlfriend asked. She was looking up at him with concern.

"yes please." He replied politely.

She walked away, looking hurt. He felt distantly guilty, but he felt worse about Alec.

"Is everything okay Jace?" Alec asked, looking alarmed.

"No. I can't stop thinking about the last few years, about father." He saw Alec flinch.

"Okay." Alec said in a clipped tone.

"I am so sorry. I have been a terrible brother, thinking you'd be better left alone. But it wasn't true was it?" He didn't wait for Alec's response.

" I thought you didn't need me. You left, because you didn't want family. Then you came back. But i don't understand. I don't expect you to tell me, but i just i'm so sorry." He was aware of the tears falling down his cheeks silently. Alec stepped closer and pulled him into a fierce hug. It felt like Alec was comforting him, but in reality he felt like he should be comforting Alec.

Simon was soaked. He had just taken an unexpected dip in the lake, thanks to Izzy. Going boating with Isabelle was a bad idea.

Though he had to admit it was fun.

They'd both laughed when they had docked, Simon soaking wet. He hugged Isabelle, much to her annoyance. She had complained about her designer jacket.

They sat on the dock now, looking out at the other's boating.

"Sorry." Isabelle said, but he could tell she hadn't meant it.

He punched her in the arm lightly.

"ouch." She said sarcastically.

"it was kinda fun." He admitted.

She smiled at him.

He shouldn't be sitting with her. She was a heart breaker, one that dumped boys like empty soda cans. She had to go through 5 boys in a month. She had a reputation. Plus, he wasn't her type. She didn't go for guys like him. She was tough, she didn't need him. Simon, who was easily breakable.

"You looked cute soaked." She said in a sincere tone. Simon guessed she did this with every boy she met.

"um..thanks." He replied, feeling awkward, as usual.

She touched his cheek lightly. It sent involuntary shivers up his spine.

Gently, he took her hand and placed it at her side. She frowned.

"your a heart breaker, Iz." He said softly.

" What about you?" She asked, her voice low and soft.

Ha. Simon Lewis, a a heart breaker. Clary would laugh if she was there.

"right." He responded.

She turned, not looking at Simon. She was looking at the water.

" I don't know what to think of you Simon." She said.

That hurt a little.

He shrugged.

"it scares me." She continued, softly.

He started to get up, his cheeks burning beet red. Isabelle grabbed his wrist, surprising him. It was almost like she wanted him there.

"what i mean is i usually don't like guys like you. But i- i - do." She said.

He was taken back. Isabelle Lightwood, likes him?

"y-you too." He said, feeling like an idiot.

She turned, closing the distance between them, capturing his mouth with hers. He sat stiff with surprise for a moment, than he melted into the kiss, his hands tangling in Isabelle's hair. It was soft, and felt good between his fingertips. He placed his hands on her hips, pulling her closer. She had her hands around his neck, and now they were pressed together completely. This was new.

Gabriel hated Will. He wished the girl he loved wasn't his sister, or he might have strangled him already. He stood now, facing Will, whom Cecily had just told about our relationship. He thought of me as scum, not to be trusted. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides and he looked ready to lunge at me.

"is this some sort of cruel joke Gabriel? Trying to get to me?" He said through gritted teeth, his eyes bright with fury. Gabriel backed up a few steps.

"Not at all." He answered, his voice unwavering.

"to get back at me through my sister?are you going to humiliate her? Hurt her?" Did Will really think Gabriel was that bad?

Before he could react, Will was on him, knocking him to the ground. His fist connected with Gabriel's stomach, and he rolled to the side.

He jumped to his feet, and faced Will, anger running white hot through his veins. He punched Will in the face, and he other boy's head jerked to the side. He knew Will had not expected Gabriel to fight back. Will was not usually violent, in Gabriel''s experience. But he thought he was using his sister, and worthy of this treatment.   


"Will?" Said a familiar voice. It was a lovely welsh.

He saw Cecily through the black dots forming in his vision.

"How dare you?!" She said, and he could hear the fury in her voice.

That was the last thing he heard before the darkness swept over him like a wave, plunging him into the darkness.

Alec sat alone in a chair surrounding the fire he had created. He poked at it with a long stick , moving the logs if they needed to be moved. He almost fell out of his chair when he heard Isabelle's voice.

"Alec?" He turned his head around, and saw Isabelle, frowning.

"yeah Iz?" He said, tiredly.

"I need to talk to you." He was feeling the oddest sense of de ja vu.

"what about?" He answered.

"Jace told me what happened." She answered, taking a seat beside him.

Oh great.

"oh?" He said.

"I feel the same way. I think i know why you left." She continued.

WHAT?

" I heard mom talking to dad about you the day before we left. She said dad ruined our family, and he said it wasn't his fault his son was- was-w-was gay."

Magnus

He was going to see if he could talk to Alec. He stopped when he heard voices.

Isabelle's.

Alec's.

oh gosh.


	7. Chapter 7

Magnus

Alec's eyes darted around wildly, probably to see if anyone was watching. But he didn't see Magnus. He felt kinda bad for eavesdropping, but oh well. Isabelle's words surprised him, alot.

That would probably be an understatement. This wasn't what he'd expected.

But Alec just broke up with Aline.

He kissed Camille.

But he had been upset when Camille kissed him.

He had said he didn't care about Aline all that much.

It made sense, in a way. But why was Alec doing that to himself? Why date Aline? Kiss Camille?

Alec

Alec knew tears were falling down his cheeks, but he didn't care. Isabelle was going to hate him too. She was going to tell Jace and then he was going to hate Alec. Why did he have to be like this?

"Alec, it's okay." Isabelle said, but she couldn't have meant it.

"no. no it isn't okay." He answered, getting up from his seat, tears falling rapidly down his cheeks. He probably looked like an idiot. More things to beat him up about.

"Alec why are you crying?" Isabelle asked, but he didn't answer.

He was crying, now, crying about Jace, about Isabelle, even about the father he had lost. No he was about to lose his sister. Would she hit him?

Isabelle

Isabelle though this wold be easier. The look he gave her, like he was bracing himself.

"Alec, it's okay." She said, her voice even.

He blinked at her, causing more tears to fall from his eyes.

"Your- your not going to hit me?" Her heart shattered into tiny little pieces, breaking for him. She shook her head.

"why?" He said. She wanted to hug him like the world was ending.

"I love you Alec." She said, and her lip started to quiver. Damn it, she thought. She hated to cry. He looked broken, shattered. She couldn't believe she didn't see though the cracks in his armor, always acting indifferent about most things. She had ignored the sighs. Her brother was destroyed. She had never hated their father more in her life. She took a step towards Alec, and when he didn't move away, she pulled him into a hug.

Tessa

It was dark, like it had been for the last few nights. Tessa hadn't expected the cold, though she probably should have. All she had brought was a flimsy gray jacket, that was worn. But she had to see the stars, it was the last night. The only other place she would see the stars was in pictures, until the next time she went camping. She was sure that wasn't going to be soon. Ever since her parents had died, she had lived with her aunt, who had just recently gotten agoraphobia. She hadn't left the house in the last 7 months. Tessa wished she would go outside, experience the world with her. But her aunt was scared. Tessa had to learn to drive as soon as possible, and went grocery shopping for the two of them because her aunt couldn't. Her adoptive brother left for London a few years back, and he had only been 19. He wrote every so often, but not more than once a month.

She had brought a lantern with her, but it provided little illumination. She sensed it was almost out of power. She sat down on a tree stump, right by the water. Tessa saw the stars reflected in the water. She must have been there quite awhile thinking. When she looked up, she saw no stars. It was still dark out, there must have been clouds in the sky. She shivered when she felt the raindrops on her neck. The rain wasn't so hard at first, but it gradually grew worse. She wanted to wait until it stopped pouring, but she had to get back before anyone noticed she was gone. She had worn flip flops, which she now regretted. The rain had turned the dirt to mud, and her feet kept sinking in and her shoes kept falling off. She felt cold, and dirty. In the dim light, she could tell her skin was paler. She tripped over what was probably a tree root. She prayed the trail ended soon, and she could get back to the camp. She heard a crunch, and suddenly her right foot was burning, and she cried out, pulling herself into a siting position. Damn tree root, she thought, clutching her foot with her numb fingers.

She started to shake, uncontrollably. The world was a blur around her, and she fell into the mud, her nails digging in. Her eyes were clouded with tears. She felt the pain in her foot distantly, as she tired to stand. This was a failed attempt. Her knees buckled, dizziness washing over her. She tried to remember how to breathe. She grabbed frantically for her lantern, but when she touched it, the light flickered, and died. She was screwed. She wasn't giving in. She started to pull herself along, and she felt the mud underneath her, and the pain in her foot. She was still shaking. She could no longer think clearly. She stopped where the ground was harder, shielded from the rain, and curled up in a ball, rocking back and forth. She pulled her knees up to her chest, and hoped she survived until morning.

Alec

Alec had been awake since his conversation with Isabelle. He had equipped himself with a heavy jacket, and was going for a walk. That was how he liked to think about things, things were clearer when he was moving. He heard thunder in the distance, but continued down the trail anyway. He had brought a bright flashlight with him, he just replaced the batteries. He thought he might have been hallucinating when he heard soft whimpers, coming from nearby. He turned in a circle slowly, using the flashlight to see. It had begun to rain. Alec wasn't too cold though, his coat was doing a good job of keeping him warm. He almost fell when his foot caught on a tree root, that he hadn't seen. If he had tripped, he would be in trouble. He heard the whispering fainter now, and the rain had picked up, if that was even possible. He narrowed his eyes and saw a crumpled shape a few yards in the distance. He hoped it wasn't anything dangerous. But he didn't care too much about safety at this point. He neared the shape, and it looked like a person, tall. Definitely a girl.

"hello?" He called, and his voice sounded like a gun shot.

When there was no reply, he found himself running. He was at the girl's side in a matter of moments. He shined the flashlight down, and saw a vaguely familiar face. He had seen her the day before, with the group from Magnus's old school. She had a thin gray jacket on, that was soaked with rain and mud. There were also darker spots, that he hoped wasn't blood. Holding his flashlight in one hand, he felt her neck for a pulse. Thank god she wasn't dead. She whimpered, and looked up. She might have been crying, but it was hard to tell, because it was raining. She looked awful, and he could see a cut and bruise on her cheek, mud and rain dampening her hair. She looked like she wanted to say something, but couldn't. He wondered if hypothermia was in the question.

Gently, he scooped her up in his arms. luckily, she didn't weigh much, even if she was tall.

He half ran half walked down the trail, shouting for help.

Clary woke up, panting. She had had another nightmare, the same horrible nightmare. Jace had said he loved her, than she was attending his funeral. She heard screams, but she had to strain her ears. It sound like "help, help." The voice was male, mostly drowned out from the rain. She heard the sound of rain hitting the top of the tent, and sighed. She picked up her heavy coat, and slipped her tennis shoes on. She had to find out what was going on. Who knows? She could be hallucinating. Especially after the dreams. She tried to be quiet as she unzipped the tent and stepped outside. She saw nothing at first, then saw a dark shape approaching. She walked fast, trying to reach the person who had been screaming. She had brought her lantern, and it worked well enough for her to see.

She saw Alec, carrying a limp figure in his arms.

With a jolt, she realized it was Tessa.


	8. Chapter 8

Alec

Alec had gone to Will's tent immediately after he came back, after he saw Clary. She had said she'd heard his screams, though apparently no one else had. Tessa probably had mild hypothermia. Her skin was white as a sheet, and she was shaking uncontrollably. He wondered what her state of mind was. Will had seemed frantic, which was understandable. He had been out of the tent in maybe- 6 seconds? He had brought a lantern, and placed it in the picnic table where Tessa lay. Alec though this probably would be uncomfortable, but it had stopped raining and he had no where else to put her. All of their lanterns were lined up on top of and under the table, providing light. Tessa looked bad, her hair and and clothes caked with mud, her hair wet with blood and rain. It had to be at least three in the morning.

"She's alive." Will said softly, mostly to himself, but Alec heard anyway. He was pretty sure Tessa was going to live, getting a good look at her.

"someone bring me blankets." Will demanded looking at Alec. Why can't he do it? But Alec didn't object, just went over to his tent and grabbed all of his blankets. He heard a groan from the opposite side of the tent. Jace stirred, mumbling something. Alec backed out the tent door, zipping it shit behind him. He hurried over to Tessa.

"We can't let her move." Will said urgently. before he could ask, Will answered his unspoken question.

"because it only makes hypothermia worse." He continued, grabbing Tessa hand and giving it a light squeeze.

"can we carry her into a tent?" Alec asked.

Will looked thoughtful for a moment, then nodded. Before Alec could do anything, Will had swung Tessa up into his arms, and was carrying her over to his hadn't paid attention when Will had said who he was staying with. They would surely be okay with it?

He came out a moment later, heading for the picnic table. He took a lantern in one hand and a few blankets in the other. He turned, and went back into his tent. The most important thing was getting her warm. He came out a second time, this time coming over to him and Clary. Clary was being uncharacteristically silent. He looked at Alec for a while before he said  
"thanks for saving Tessa. Thank the lord you were on that trail, or i don't know what would've happened. I can't even think what i would have done." His voice cracked, and Alec got the sense he was being turned quickly, retreating back into the tent.

Will

Will had almost lost it, thinking he had lost Tessa. What had she been thinking going out in the rain alone like that? Why hadn't she gotten out of there. She could have gotten back to the tents if she followed the trail. But Alec had found her on the trail, at least that's what Will thought. He had never given a second thought about the boy, until now. He sensed something broken, like he had been when his sister died. He seemed oddly alert now, his ice blue eyes sharper.

Will had been 10 years old when his sister Ella died, and it was all his fault. Sometimes he thought himself cursed. He ran from his family, thinking he couldn't bear to hurt anyone else. He had made a promise to himself then. To never love anyone again, because he only caused trouble. He hated to think about it even had only been recently reunited with his little sister, who was two years younger. He supposed this was why he was so protective.

He owed Gabriel an apology, even if he hated the other boy with all his heart. Something snapped inside him when he saw a limp Tessa, and remembered so long ago, when his father had carried a limp dead Ella in his arms. He had explained to Will she was dead. Gone forever all because of his own recklessness. His own stupidity.

He had run to his aunt's then. Of course his parents had come for him, but he kept at it, and they left him alone, because they thought he needed some time to heal. But one couldn't really heal from something that horrible could you? He knew most people had struggles in their lives, and he missed the days of sweet ignorance. Life was far from perfect.

He was jerked out of his reverie when he heard a faint whimper, the first sound he had heard Tessa make. He felt his heart skip a beat. He piled the blankets on top of her, and pulled his shirt over his head, and climbed into the "bed" next to her. He had read somewhere that he could share body heat. He was ready to do anything for his Tess, his beautiful Tess.

Tessa slept without dreams, and it was finally peaceful. She heard the sound of Will's voice, and her eyes fluttered open. She saw a pair of anxious blue eyes staring down at her. What happened?

oh.

"sorry." She croaked. He put his finger to his lips.

"don't try to talk Tess." She obeyed, falling into another round of dreamless sleep.

Alec

Alec stood looking at Tessa from the distance. He was leaning against a tree trunk, watching Tessa take a sip of something steaming, coming from a coffee cup. He longed for coffee. He hadn't slept, due to the chaos with Tessa. He was glad she had recovered okay.

"Alec?" He heard behind him. Their was surprise in Magnus's tone.

"Yeah?" He answered, turning to look at Magnus, who was dressed very different from usual. He wore a black t-shirt, and lose jeans. That was not something he had expected to ever see on Magnus. The taller boy ran a hand through his raven regarded Alec thoughtfully.

"did you hear about Tessa?" He asked. Alec had _heard. _he had carried her back to the camp when he found her in a heap on the he didn't say that. He preferred no one knew about and Clary knew of course, but they hadn't shared the information. Will had thanked him like he was some sort of hero, and he was far from it. He wasn't even remotely close.

He shrugged, and Magnus continued.

"She's lucky some guy walked along and saved her. She might not be here if it weren't for him. I talked to her earlier. She couldn't tell who it was, it was dark and she was only like half conscious. She said she knew it was a boy, but Will seems to be silent. Maybe he doesn't want anyone to take credit for saving her but him? I'd like to give the guy who brought her here a hug." He said, looking at Alec expectantly. Alec shrugged, then said

" i'm glad she's okay."

Magnus

Magnus wasn't sure why Alec had been spying on Tessa. He knew he wasn't secretly in love with her at least. Why did the boy have to be so mysterious?he stopped dead when he heard voices. He was seriously going to have to reconsider his career as a ninja. He recognized them as Will's and Alec's.

"Thanks for not telling anyone." Alec said. He had told _will_ his darkest secret?

"I don't understand it man. You saved her, dragged her to camp and we saved her. Without you she might not be breathing." Will said, a little breathless.

When did the surprises ever stop?


	9. Chapter 9

**I will probably update again tomorrow, but then i won't be able to update until Sunday. **

**Okay i know this was a really bad chapter, it sounds very- choppy.**

** I was listening to music on YouTube and found Wayward Daughter, their songs are amazing. Look them up and listen to For the keeping, bones and what i have done. AMAZING.**

**Everything belongs to Cassandra Clare, if i owned the mortal instruments, i Wouldn't be on fan fiction. net. **

What Simon hated the most about camping was re packing the truck. He hated deflating the air mattresses, taking down the tent, reloading the suitcases and all the food. He did have a good time, he had to admit. Especially with Isabelle.

It took them about 3 hours to completely pack up, and they had a long drive a head of them. Magnus was driving, and Isabelle had volunteered to sit in the passenger seat. Simon, Alec and Jace were crammed into the back seat. Clary was riding home with Tessa and Jessimine. The ride was awkward to say the least, because there was nothing to talk about.

Tessa's foot had been bandaged with an ace bandage, and he cuts wiped clean of blood. Will had made sure of it. Though when she had asked him if he had been the one to take her back to camp, he had avoided the question. Tessa really wanted to know, so she could thank them. She tried to remember the face. She remembered dark hair, and whoever had saved her deserved her thanks. She was kind of annoyed at Will for not sharing the information.

"Clary?" She asked. She knew Clary had been there. She knew.

"Yeah Tessa?" Clary answered. She sounded tired.

"I really want to know who picked me up last night. The secrecy is getting a little all ridiculous. For all i know it could have been a total stranger. "

"It wasn't a total stranger." Clary answered.

"then who?" Tessa asked.

"Well, he was taking a walk to clear his head or something and he found you hunched over on the ground. Anyone would have done the same Tessa." Clary answered.

"that doesn't answer my question Clarissa."

"Okay, I woke up and got out of the tent, when i heard Alec screaming for help. He had you in his arms. We set you down on the picnic table. Alec went and got Will, and he checked up on you to make sure you were okay."

Alec? The boy with the black hair and blue eye like Will? The one she never really talked to. He'd ran into the camp screaming for help. For her.

She felt a tear run down her cheek.

Alec was dreading coming home, even if he knew his parents weren't coming back for 6 weeks. There he would find memories of his Father and his childhood. Both things he wanted to forget. He had even considered going back out onto the streets, but he would rather have roof over his head. So he'd went with Isabelle and Jace back home, where his parents were no where to be found. He even had a cell phone, that he always left at home. His room was empty, used as a guest room nowadays. It was better that way, nothing to remind him.

He decided to go for a run, something he hadn't done for a least two months. He enjoyed running, but lately he didn't have the energy. He put on his running shorts and walked out the door.

He ran down the street, thinking about the past few days. He thought about Magnus, and about the girl Tessa, whom he had barely known but saved. He didn't understand why people flt the need to thank him. Anyone would have done the same.

He stopped at a street corner, to catch his breath. He leaned against a pole, when he felt a vibrating in his pocket. He pulled the phone out and answered it, almost reluctantly.

"hello?" He said.

"Is this Alec Lightwood?" The voice on the other line asked.

"um, yeah." He answered, still a little breathless.

"It's Tessa." oh.

"okay." He said.

"I found out it was you from Clary. I wanted to say i'm really grateful." She said.

"okay, thanks i guess." He wasn't really sure how to respond.

"well, i guess i call you later." She said, but before Alec could say anything, the line went dead.

Magnus's birthday was the next day. He didn't plan o anything special, except another one of his parties. He had had 17 other birthdays, and his eighteenth wasn't going to be different. On his tenth, his mother had committed suicide. Magnus saw her body dangling overhead in the basement. His father had blamed him, though. He tried to strangle Magnus. Let's just say, his father was dead and he wasn't. He lived with his aunt, and she let him do whatever he wanted. She left him alone, and let him basically have the house for parties whenever he wanted. His aunt wasn't home much though. He didn't ask where she went, but she smelled of booze. Sometimes she claimed she'd went for a walk, but Magnus knew this wasn't true. He wasn't sure why she needed to get drunk, but everyone has their demons, i guess. Magnus was glad she took him in, regardless. She accepted Magnus, for one thing. He knew after meeting Alec Lightwood, that if your guardians didn't accept you, it was hell. He had been there and watched while Alec's father had kicked him, and hit him. He had seen Alec sleeping on a bench. He had heard Alec talk to Will, and to Isabelle. Alec wasn't easy to get to know, but Magnus felt like he was finally making progress. He would have to talk to Alec. He felt like he needed to tell Alec about himself, because he already knew more about Alec than most people. But as his aunt once told him,

Some secrets are better buried.


	10. Chapter 10

Monday had been a very boring day, and Magnus hoped talking to Alec would make up for it. Magnus felt like he owed Alec an explanation, because Magnus already knew more about Alec than even Jace. And maybe Alec would be more open afterwards. That's what he wanted, if Alec would even talk to him.

He ended up finding him sitting in the bleachers, with a towel and a water bottle. Magnus assumed he'd been running. He was wearing shorts and a simple white t-shirt.

"Can I talk to you Alec?" He asked, sounding as causal as he thought possible. Alec looked up, and Magnus saw that there was a sheen of sweat on his forehead.

"Yeah sure." Alec patted the bench beside him with a hand. Magnus thought he was acting unusually cheery.

"Well, I don't really know how to start." Magnus explained, and it was true. He didn't think he could just start talking about his sad life story. He hoped it wouldn't ruin Alec's mood.

"Okay, well I kind of wanted to talk to you too." Alec said, frowning.

"About what?" He said, wondering what on earth he could possibly mean.

"I have been really ungrateful to you these last few days. You really helped me pull through. It might sound gushy, but it's the truth. My dad, we've been like at war for four years. You asked me why he hated me. I am trying to be more open about things, Magnus. More open with people. So i'm telling you why he hates me. Because i feel like you deserve to know. He threw me out when i was fourteen. I live at home when Mother and father are not home. As you know, it's a bad idea to get near him. So i live out on the street days when they aren't out on business. That isn't much, because they always are. My father doesn't know i go home. He threw me out because he didn't accept the fact i was, well i was gay." He finished a little breathless. Magnus felt amazing, like he could run ten thousand miles. Alec had actually told him he was gay, something he already knew, but still, Alec had trusted him enough to tell him. He looked at Alec, who was watching Magnus for a reaction.

"Your dad's an ass." Magnus smiled at Alec, who looked relieved. He wanted to give the other boy a hug, but that might have been a little bit awkward. Magnus took a deep breath. He wasn't sure he was prepared to spill his life story. But Alec had. So he somehow found the courage too.

"You don't know much about me, Alec. I feel like I should tell you. My mom committed suicide when I was ten years old. My dad blamed me, he had always thought of me as a burden. He tired to kill me, but obviously it didn't work. He's dead now. I went to live with my mom's only sister, who i still live with. I think she cares about me, but I really don't see her much anymore. When she does come home, she slurs her words and stumbles around. " Magnus paused, looking at Alec, who was startled.

"You don't have to tell me this, Magnus." Alec said.

Magnus continued.

" I don't know her reasons for getting drunk, I don't know why she does alot of things. But even then, she has always accepted me, a thing that now, i am so grateful for. She's been supportive, when she's not intoxicated. She loves me. She does." He said, looking up at the cloudless blue sky.

"I didn't know that." Alec said softly. Alec sounded sympathetic. Magnus thought this was amazing. He felt sympathetic to Magnus, when Alec's situation was far worse. He didn't think Alec felt sorry for himself. Magnus thought maybe he hated himself, but Alec never felt self pity. It was sad, but sometimes sad times tell you who your real friends really are. He thought he could be a great amazing friend to Alec, at least. Magnus had dated quite a few people, but Alec was something so special, so unique. Magnus found himself wishing he would never lose him. He realized he actually cared about this boy, cared what happened to him, would cry for him, and hope and laugh with him. Something he hadn't felt before. This was new, this was good.

" Well, I guess we learned some new things, then." He responded, wiping a tear from his couldn't remember the last time he had let himself cry. Alec pulled him into a fierce hug then, and Magnus smiled. He knew at least Alec cared about him a bit too.

Simon didn't know what to do with himself. He had tried watching TV, and playing a new video game, reading and he even had taken a short walk around the neighborhood. He couldn't stop thinking about his encounter with Isabelle. Had she been kidding? Did she do this to all of her...what was he even to her? He didn't think he was her boyfriend, but they certainly didn't seem like just friends. He hated being unsure. Whatever he did, he couldn't stop thinking about Isabelle. He didn't know when he was going to see her again either. It made him want to bang his head over the wall, over and over until he stopped thinking. But this, wasn't probably the best option. He heard the familiar ring of his cell phone, and answered on the first ring.

"hello?" He said anxiously.

"Hi it's Clary." Answered a familiar voice.

" What is it?" He asked.

"Magnus it having a a party and i wanted to know if you could come." She answered.

Magnus was having another party?

"Yeah, when should I be there?" Simon asked. What else did he have to do?

"Um, eleven?" Clary answered.

"Kay." He said, hanging up the phone.

The house was crowded, and Isabelle had a hard time finding Simon. She had asked Clary to invite him, because she hadn't had the courage to do it herself. What did he think of her now? She hadn't talked to him in awhile. She wasn't sure what she was feeling, but it was new. She wasn't sure if it was a good kind of new or a bad kind of new. She needed to talk it over with Simon. She was scared, of breaking her heart. She didn't know Simon all that well. Her mom had once told her not to trust men.

Could she trust Simon?


	11. Chapter 11

Tessa was going on her weekly shopping expedition, for herself and her aunt. She had already gotten all the groceries they needed, and was on her way to the coffee shop to get something for her and Will. She was approaching the flower store, and she thought of Alec. The way he had carried her to the camp, and hadn't even wanted credit for it. She decided she could spare enough money to buy a small bouquet of flowers, out of her two hundred dollar spending limit. She would have a few dollars left after buying coffee. It was dark out, and the streets were almost bare. She should get home soon, She new. Then she would head over to her boyfriend's house. Her aunt would be fine, she had lived alone for most of her bought white roses, they looked the best.

She was tucking her wallet in her purse, which was swung over her shoulder, when someone pulled her back by the shirt. She jerked her head around to see an unfamiliar face, wearing a black hoodie and shirt. She felt something cold and sharp at her neck. A knife, she realized. Tessa tried to struggle free of the man's grasp, but the knife was too closely pressed to her skin. When she moved, she felt a trickle of blood run down her chest, most likely staining her shirt. She panicked, and the man whispered something in her ear.

"your wallet, miss." He said, his voice sounding like a hiss to Tessa. She tried to struggle free once more, to no avail. This man wanted her money, something she never had enough of. She wasn't sure they could make it without the money. More blood ran down her chest, the knife going in slightly deeper this time. Another man approached, dressed the same. He took her bag off her shoulder, as the other man held her down. She kicked him, but then he slapped her, and she felt a sting in her cheek.

"Help!" She screamed, but the man holding her quickly clamped a hand over her mouth. She bit down hard, but he didn't move his hand. She just wished they would take her wallet and leave her alone.

She heard footsteps, then the mugger who had taken her bag fell to his knees, like someone had kicked him hard. it had started to rain, and Tessa couldn't see the person who had done it, but she wished she could. He kicked the man hard again, and he whimpered. The other man inhaled sharply, but didn't release his grip on Tessa. He took his hand off her mouth and reached into his pocket, taking out something short and sharp. She saw a flash of silver, and the man looked ready to throw the knife at the boy and she yelled look out just in time for him to duck. The knife sailed over his head, shattering a store window. The boy threw his hands over his head, shielding himself from the falling glass. She heard violent swearing, coming from one of them. The man quickly disentangled himself from Tessa, and bolted down the street, the other one quickly following. The boy who had saved her didn't stick around either, but he did throw her bag towards her, then he ran down the street, before Tessa could thank him. She realized two things.

She was lucky to be alive, and she was going to have to identify the boy who had saved her from who knows what.

Magnus had asked Isabelle where Alec had gone, but she had avoided the question. Alec had not been at the party, for whatever reason. He was worried, Had his father gotten to him again? The thought made his stomach turn. He wished he could locate Alec, and know exactly where he was. He had invited everyone he could think of to his party, his aunt was gone again. Isabelle and Jace were there. He almost had a heart attack when Isabelle's phone rang. Her face twisted, and she bolted out the door. What was going on? Where was Alec?

Tessa decided to deliver the flowers, despite her new injuries. They weren't that bad, really. She knocked on the lightwood's door, and it took a while before someone answered, Isabelle. She looked tired, her eyes shadowed. Tessa knew something was wrong. She followed Isabelle inside, and sat on the couch next to her. She appeared to be in the middle of folding clothes. She sat down on the end, and continued folding.

"Why did you bring flowers?" She asked, folding a pair of jeans, men's jeans.

"For Alec." She said. She was so grateful to be alive, and she decided she needed to thank him for carrying her back to camp.

"Um, i don't think he'll be interested." Isabelle answered, folding a jacket. Ugh.

"I wanted to thank him." She answered, a little annoyed. Isabelle knew she was dating Will. She nodded her head. She was looking down at another pair of faded men's jeans, her expression sad. The jeans were ripped and torn, dark splotches of red in some places. Who's jeans were these?

"Their Alec's." She said, answering Tessa's unanswered question. Alec's? Horror flooded her veins.

" Is he okay?" Tessa asked, hoping desperately the answer was yes. Isabelle shook her head.

"He's at the hospital." She said.

"The hospital?" Tessa echoed, horrified.

"Apparently he tripped. But i don't believe him. I think he ran into our dad." She said, a tear running down her cheek.

"How bad is it?" Tessa asked.

"A few really nasty cuts, he should be out later today. He came to them in the dead of the night, but he won't tell anyone what happened." Isabelle's voice cracked. Tessa pulled her into a hug, and held her as she sobbed.

Magnus went to school early the next day hoping to catch Alec. He was going to start hyperventilating if he wasn't at school. Much to his relief, he did find Alec, sifting through his locker, and pulling out a book. As he neared, he saw something was wrong. Alec wasn't standing up straight, favoring one leg. He had bandages on his lower arms and wrists, where his long sleeve shirt didn't cover. He also had a nasty cut on his cheek, where bruises were just beginning to fade. The bandages on his wrists were white, with dots of red where blood had soaked through. He saw Isabelle coming towards him, but he kept going anyway.

"What happened to you?" He whispered, though he was pretty sure the answer was going to have something to do with his father.

" I tripped." He said, shrugging. He tripped? Like Magnus was going to believe that.

Alec had a hard time getting around, dealing with his injuries. It had looked worse than he thought last night, and he was glad. School was over, and he was walking across the field, when he saw a very familiar face. He hurried over, and saw the other boy looked similar to Alec, with bandages covering his arms, a shallow cut on his neck.

Alec didn't hesitate before punching him in the face.


	12. Chapter 12

**i don't own anything but the plot. All else belongs to Cassie! **

**Reviews rally mean alot to me, so please R and R. **

**Should I continue with this idea?**

**Or drop it? **

**Oh, and i haven't said anything for the last few chapters, sorry. I really hope you like it.**

**Enjoy**

**(:**

Mayrse had recently seen Alec, her eldest son. He had been bandaged and bruised a long cut on his cheek. She couldn't help thinking it was all her fault, and she wanted to get the farthest away from Robert as possible. But she couldn't. She didn't have the courage. Alec would never forgive her for what she had done to him. She definitely wouldn't. She wished she could take it all back.

Alec was in the mood for coffee. He had a a long tiring day, especially after his encounter with Bryce, a kid he had some serious issues with. Bryce made some bad mistakes, recently. But Alec didn't feel like thinking about Bryce, all he really wanted was sleep. So there he was, at Lilly's coffee shop, ordering black coffee to keep him on his feet. It didn't help his whole body burned, and his mind was a mess. He sat down in one of the booth's, sipping his steaming drink. He winced as he sat, his leg throbbing where he'd been cut. A girl walked over to his booth and sat down across from him. He sighed, looking at the girl. He realized it was Tessa.

Tessa had just ordered her coffee, when she saw Alec. It was a miracle they had both come at the same time. She walked over to him. He looked bad, a long cut on his cheek, along with faded bruises. He had bandages where ever she could see. He was looking down at his coffee cup, and looked up at her with a sigh. Then his eyes widened.

"Tessa?" He asked, disbelief clear in his voice.

"I came over here to see if you were alright." She explained.

"thanks. I am fine." He said, though that was clearly not the case.

"what happened?" She asked.

"Nothing." He replied taking another sip of his coffee.

"oh really? I almost died getting you flowers last night. Lucky some guy saved my life. He didn't stick around. I really am lucky to be breathing right now. When i came over to your house, she said you were at the hospital. Then she folded a pair of your ripped bloody jeans. Don't you tell me nothings wrong, because you would be lying." His expression changed.

"You got mugged last night?" He asked, a look of utter shock sculpting his features.

That was all he heard? Sometimes she just wanted to yell at him.

"Yeah, some guys wanted my wallet, and this boy came up and beat them up. Glass shattered, knives got thrown- She pulled back her t-shirt to reveal the bandage on her throat- I'm lucky to be alive." Alec had gone as white as a sheet. Why was he worried for her?

"You got mugged last night." He mumbled.

"yeah." She answered.

He got up form the booth abruptly, and ran out the door, as fast as he could go.

Magnus was staring out his window, bored out of his mind. He had nothing to do but worry and wonder. Things with Alec were still a mystery. He answered at the first ring when his phone rang.

"Hello?" He asked, anxiously.

"It's me, Tessa." Why was Tessa calling him?

"what is it?" He asked.

"It's Alec." She answered. Alec?

"Is he alright?" Magnus asked.

" No. That's why i called. He looks like hell, he won't talk to me, and i think something serious is bothering him."

What happened?!

"I don't understand." He said.

" He is bandaged and bruised. He dodges any questions I ask." Oh.

"I will talk to him." Magnus said then they said there goodbyes, and he hung up the phone.

Isabelle wished Alec would tell her something. He says he tripped, but She knows what really happened. Their father happened. She didn't see any other thing he could have done. Unless he did it to himself? The thought was too much to bear. She was sitting in Java Jones, reading the latest newspaper. She wanted coffee, and a distraction.

**Broken glass store window****  
**

**Yesterday night, something happened involving four teens, and resulted in a broken window. Witness's say they saw a girl get grabbed, by two of the boys. One took her purse. Then another boy saved her and ran. We have yet to identify any of the teens. The shopkeeper says she hopes that boy is recognized. The window was shattered, and there was a knife left behind.**

she wondered who would do something like that, who would jump in and save the girl. The girl was lucky, whoever she was. The boy was going to be recognized as a hero, if they identified him.

Tessa was going to try Alec's house again. She was worried about his well being. She also felt like she owed the other boy, because he had saved her life. She was waling down the sidewalk, when she saw three familiar figures.

Alec and her two other attackers.

She stopped dead, not daring to breathe. None of them had seen her. Were the two boys attempting to rob Alec to?

"You evil thing. Do you know how much being kicked in the ribs hurts? Or punched in the face? Did the shattered glass do that to you? Well, what goes around comes around i guess." One of them said, taking a step towards Alec.

What was he talking about?

"I'm not really sorry." Alec replied with a shrug.

Realization washed over her like a wave.

It had been Alec that kicked the man in the ribs, who almost got killed by a flying knife, who got cut up by falling glass, who didn't stick around to be thanked. Alec saved her life twice, and he didn't even want to be recognized. He had gone to the hospital because of her? This was all her fault? Now he was facing down the people he had almost effortlessly defeated? Anger ran in her veins.

She took a few steps forward, until she was right in front of the boy. She looked up into his green merciless eyes, and his smug grin. Then, she slapped him. He staggered back holding his cheek, he had not expected that.

"Tessa?" Alec said, looking bewildered.

"Why didn't you tell me you saved me?" She asked.

" I couldn't see who it was, and I didn't think you'd care." He answered.

"Well, i care. This is all my fault." She said, burying her face in her hands.

"You must have a death wish." He replied, smiling slightly.


	13. Chapter 13

Alec was standing with Tessa, facing the two boys they both hated. They had nearly killed Alec and Tessa, and wounded both of them. Alec had been cut badly by falling glass, but he would rather have a few cuts than stabbed with a flying knife. He had almost been killed, and he guessed this was Bryce's goal now. He kicked the other boy in the stomach, and he doubled over, clutching his abdomen. Tessa elbowed Bryce in the face, but he only stopped for a moment. Soon, the two boys were advancing on them. Alec handled them for a few seconds, Tessa seemed to be frozen, fiddling with something behind her back. He thought he heard voices, but he wasn't sure. Maybe a faint hello? She dropped something behind her, but Alec didn't look to see what it might have been. Where were the people? Was anyone going to stop by? Bryce took something out from his pocket, and Alec realized with horror it was a knife, not unlike the one that had flown mere inches over his head. He brandished the knife, grinning menacingly.

"You can't get away this time, Lightwood? Is that your girlfriend, well too bad for her." He swung the knife, and Alec stepped to the side. Bryce swung again, and caught the front of his t-shirt, ripping a wide hole in the front. He was glad he would probably have only a shallow scratch, not a life threatening wound. He gulped ducking again as Bryce swung. He didn't understand why they were doing this. He kicked the hand holding the knife, and it flew from his hand, landing only a foot from Alec. He picked it up from the ground, before Bryce could. He should have been expecting that, or holding the knife tighter. He gripped it so tight his knuckles turned white.

"Stop." He pleaded, lowering the knife. But Bryce didn't want that. In a mere second, Alec was pinned to the ground, Bryce just an inch from his face. He tried to struggle free, but the bigger boy had Alec pinned. His hands were on Alec's. Bryce tried to grab the knife. But Alec had a death grip. He heard shouting distantly, but all he could concentrate on was the pounding of his heart, the blood pulsing from the wound at his chest. All of a sudden, Bryce was flung backwards, off of him, and he saw a familiar face. Standing a few feet from him, was Will, Jem and Magnus. Will had pried the boy off him, but Tessa seemed to still be busy with his friend. Jem joined her, then a few minutes later, the two were fleeing again, and Tessa and him faced three pale white faced friends.

Magnus caught Alec when he fell, before he could be hurt further by the pavement. He still had a knife clutched in his hand, Magnus had to rip free. He had a bloody hole in his shirt, which looked really bad. Magnus felt his heart beating a million miles an hour. He breathed in sharply, shaking Alec. Will and Jem were too busy with Tessa to even notice him, hunched over his now unconscious friend.

"Alec!" He whispered, burying his face in the crook of Alec's neck. The three turned to him and Alec, and Tessa ran to his side, and bent down beside Alec, tears running down her face.

"All my fault. This is all my fault." She sobbed, rocking back and forth on her knees.

**one**** week later**

Clary had seen Jace in a week.. A week she had called, and had been answered by silence. Alec hadn't been at school for a few days, and she had started to worry. Had Jace been hurt? Could her dreams have become a reality? The thought was too much to bear. Before she could stop herself, she was out the door, driving to the Lightwood's. The door was answered by Isabelle, who had a towel artfully arranged at the top of her head.

"What do you want?" She asked, and Clary could hear the tiredness in her voice, like she hadn't been sleeping. Clary sure hadn't been. Through the night, that is.

"Jace, is he okay. I haven't been in touch with him in a week."

"Jace is fine." Isabelle said in a sad tone.

"Good. Is he here?" She asked, but Isabelle just nodded.

" Can i see him?" She asked, peering around Iz.

"Yeah." She replied, stepping out of Clary's way.

She found Jace sitting on the edge of his bed, looking millions of miles away. She snapped her fingers in front of his face, and he looked up at her, his lips parted in surprise.

"Why are you here?" He said, looking down at his hands. He really didn't know the answer?

"Your ignoring me." She answered.

"I don't deserve you." He said softly.

"Jace." She replied.

"I'm a complete dirt bag." He said.

Alec was glad to be getting back to normalcy finally. He was going back to school the following day. He hadn't talked to Will or Magnus or Tessa in the past 7 days, and really didn't think he wanted to. His cuts had faded somewhat, that he was happy about. He was covered in fading bruises, that hurt hen they were touched. The cut Bryce had given him was worse than it had looked, and he fainted from blood loss, if he remembered correctly. He also hated hospitals, a place he had been to much to often recently. He was driving alone today, or so he thought. Isabelle had a ride with Simon, and Jace went with Clary usually. He walked out to the car, and almost had a heart attack when Jace stepped in front of him, plucking the keys from Alec with a long fingered hand.

"You are not ready to drive yet." He said in a serious voice." He needed Jace to stop worrying about him. He had been hanging around Alec for days, ever since the muggers.

"I am." He said, taking the keys back.

"I'll drive you.I can't let you get hurt anymore." He said.

"No. You have to stop being so protective. It's not your fault I can't stay away from trouble." Alec said, and he thought he saw a flash of hurt in Jace's eyes.

"But If i had been there- Jace started, but Alec interrupted him.

"Stop it. I don't want to hear it anymore. Stop blaming yourself."

Then he stalked off the the car.

Things had been tense with Will lately. He had been furious that Tessa had not told him about the attack with the muggers, and about her mysterious savior. He had checked up on Alec for her, and he was fine. He had been shocked to know the article in the newspaper actually had something to do with her. She hadn't wanted to scare or worry him. She had dialed Will's number out there in the alley, and was surprised that they had all come so quickly. She was going to have to replace the phone she dropped though.

But she knew it was only a small thing.

She was lucky, so lucky to be alive.


	14. Chapter 14

**this is a really dramatic chapter...I think there will be malecy things in the next chapter...**

**Everything but plot belongs to cassie!**

**enjoy**

**(:**

Alec was tired of the pain. His muscles ached, bruises covered his body, cuts and scrapes disfiguring his body. He was going to have so many scars. He wasn't sorry though. He would have done it a thousand times over. Tessa had been calling him daily, making sure he was recovering alright. He thought she was nice.

He didn't know what to do now. Days were going by agonizing slowly, and his life never made any sense. On top of it all, his parents were coming home next week. He would be out on his own again, more vulnerable with all of his cuts and bruises. He had looked in the mirror that morning, and realized truly how bad he looked. The cut on his cheek ran through a fading bruise, and there were dark shadows under his eyes. He knew he probably deserved it. He just wanted to scream, but all he could do was suffocate in the silence, wincing, bleeding and slowly breaking.

Magnus hadn't slept in two weeks. He had nightmares involving a dying Alec, bleeding to death in his arms. It didn't help Alec hadn't spoken to him in that time. He hadn't realized just how much he cared about Alec, until he had sat next to him unconscious and bleeding. He knew now Alec had jumped in and saved one of his dearest friends, Tessa and suffered dearly for it. He wondered what one of the best people, did to get treated so badly. He had saved someone's life, more than once. He didn't deserve a father like Robert, or a mother like Mayrse. He thought he had it bad, until he had met Alec and his family. His heart broke when he thought about the boy, not recognized for who he really was.

Alec was in the process of walking home, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned, and saw Magnus. He must hate Alec now, for being so weak.

"I'm s- He began, but Magnus had pulled him into a hug. His body burned where Magnus had touched, his cuts stinging like someone had poured lemon juice in them. Magnus must have seen something in his expression, because he pulled away, and looked at Alec apologetically.

"Are you walking home?" Magnus asked, his voice rising a little.

"Yeah." Alec said, but really, he was walking to his favorite old friend, a bus bench. His parents were getting home.

"Can I drive you?" Magnus shook his head.

"My dad's coming home tonight." Alec whispered.

"Shit." Magnus said under his breath.

"What are you going to do then?" Magnus asked, but Alec was already walking away, tears stinging his cheeks.

Isabelle hated her mother, her father. Alec wasn't coming home tonight, because they were going to be there. Her father had raised his hand and hit his own son, and chased him out of the house. Her mother didn't protest either, so she was just as bad. Isabelle wished she had a functioning family, but she knew she could not could fix things. She didn't wish Alec other than he was. Would her parents feel guilt if they knew what Alec looked like now? Would they feel the same if they just knew Alec had saved someone's life. Saved someone's life twice actually. No they wouldn't because they were cold careless, monsters. Isabelle has started shaking, dropping her phone. She picked it up and started to type a message to her mother. She hit send and leaned back on the couch, tears falling down her face involuntarily.

Mayrse had just gotten a text from her daughter, who never talked to her. She felt her heart skip a she opened the text. It read.

I hate you.

Someone had taken a photo of him sleeping on the bench. Alec just wanted to die. He got tripped in the hallway, and they had laughed as he felt the warm sting of blood, his wounds reopening. He had been called homeless, and useless, and filth. He had been laughed at and hit. He was almost a hundred percent sure it had been Bryce. The boy who had almost killed him. Alec kept feeling like he should have succeeded, in killing him. If only he hadn't ducked. He could have ended this horrible misery, he wouldn't have to deal with any of this. Magnus hadn't been at school either.

He got a text from Isabelle saying Alec was worse. Magnus felt a cold ice wave wash over him. Alec was worse. What did that mean? What could it possibly?

Isabelle hadn't greeted her parents when they came home. She had locked the door and lain down on her bed, crying silently. Isabelle lightwood, the girl who never cried, had spent the day sobbing. Her dad picked the lock though, and he accompanied her mother.

"That text Isabelle Explain." Robert said, his voice cracking with rage.

"Robert no." Said Mayrse.

"I hate you both. Alec has been at the hospital three times this month. DO EITHER OF YOU CARE? I didn't think so." She was still crying she knew.

"That bastard Alec? What he deserves." Robert said, looking smug.

"What he deserves? FOR SAVING SOMEONE'S LIFE FROM MUGGERS AND ALMOST GETTING KILLED? FOR THE HUNDREDS OF CUTS HE GOT WHEN THE WINDOWS SHATTERED? WHEN THE KNIFE MISSED AND SHATTERED THE WINDOW? FOR CARRYING TESSA HOME WHEN SHE WAS DYING OF HYPOTHERMIA? FOR PASSING OUT WHEN HE WAS ATTACKED BY THE SAME MUGGERS WHO HAD ALMOST ROBBED TESSA? FOR WHAT? FOR THE BRUISES ON HIS JAW WHERE YOU PUNCHED HIM A FEW WEEKS AGO? WHAT ABOUT THAT?" She was screaming, she had never been this angry in her life. How dare he?

"How dare you talk to me like that." Robert said, and Isabelle could barely contain her anger.

"LIKE THIS? I'M GOING TO STAY WITH OUR COUSINS BY THE WAY. SEE IF YOU CARE. I HATE YOU, YOU EMPTY MONSTERS!" She screamed taking the duffel bag she had stuffed, and stalking out the door. She bolted down the stairs, but her dad was faster. He slapped her in the face. She fell to her knees, wondering how Alec did it? How did he do this and not want to die?

She screamed bloody murder, hoping the whole world had heard.


	15. Chapter 15

**not exactly what I promised, but I know thee will be more malecy things in the next chapter. **

**Reviews really do mean the world to me, If you could. I also appreciate critique. **

**Enjoy**

**(;**

Mayrse sat in the empty booth in Java Jones, sulking. Things had gotten bad lately, and she was divorcing her husband of seventeen years. She had been afraid to do so before. She wondered if she could ever get Alec to talk to her again. Even Isabelle for that matter. She sighed, wrapping her hands around the warm cup.

She heard the bell ring, and a very familiar shape came in.

It was her son, Alec.

She felt her heart contract inside of her chest. He looked awful, with a long gash on the side of his cheek, and a bandage wrapped around his wrist. He was also covered in bruises, some on his face. He wasn't alone either, he was accompanied by a taller boy, with raven hair much like Alec's. She looked at the wall, hoping her son didn't notice her. She glanced up at a calender, with only mild interest.

It was Alec's birthday.

A tear ran down her face, and she wiped it away with the back of her hand. She hadn't even realized this until now?

* * *

Alec had agreed to go to coffee with Magnus, when he insisted he had to do something for his eighteenth birthday. Magnus had practically dragged Alec to Java Jones. He ordered a black coffee, as he always did, and Magnus ordered something called a white chocolate. They sat down at one of the booths, Alec across from Magnus.

"Thanks." He said.

"It's your _eighteenth birthday. _I had to do something. You deserve alot more Alec." Magnus said.

"Oh, well thanks I guess." He said in response, shrugging. The waitress came by seconds later with two steaming cups of coffee, and handed them to the two boys.

" Are you holding up okay?" Magnus asked with concern. The truth was, no.

Alec just nodded, not trusting himself to be able to make up a convincing lie.

" No your not, I can see it in your eyes. Is it about Bryce?" He said.

" He tried to kill me." Alec said, remembering.

" You collapsed." Magnus said.

"Really?" Alec said, as if he hadn't thought about it.

Magnus rolled his eyes.

"Have you talked to Tessa?" He asked.

"No, But i probably should. She's been calling me everyday to check up on me, it's really nice of her to care." He said.

" You did save her life twice." Magnus said, taking another sip of his coffee.

Alec shrugged. Magnus sighed then.

" I mean it. Are you okay? I know things have been bad. I know it hurts to move, I've seen it. On top of it all, your still not currently staying anywhere." Magnus whispered the last part.

"All of that is true. But I do plan on renting a place. I just need money. I only have a few thousand saved up." Alec said.

"You already have a few thousand saved up?" Magnus sounded surprised.

" I've been saving for four years." He answered. Magnus looked taken back.

"You didn't answer my question." Magnus said, persistent.

"Fine. No, I'm not alright. Did you think anything else?" Alec replied, finally.

* * *

Mayrse tried to hold back her tears, but it was useless. She reached across the table and took a napkin from the bunch. She couldn't help overhearing the conversation between the two boys. He had saved someone's life, twice apparently. He had collapsed when someone had tried to kill him. She wondered why this Bryce would do such a thing. She was curious about the boy Alec seemed close to. Was he a friend, or more? She looked over at the two, who seemed to be deep in conversation. Alec flinched, and the other boy put his hand on Alec's. She saw Alec freeze, and draw back, flushing. It made her blood run cold, seeing her son again. He seemed happy, and not. She knew it was all her fault, she was the one to blame. more tears ran down her cheek, and she wiped them away with the napkin. She didn't think she could manage to hear more without having a melt down. She got up from her seat swiftly, and hurried to the door. She felt eyes on her as she moved past.

* * *

Alec followed Magnus's gaze to the woman leaving the shop, and realized with a jolt it was his mother. He looked a little closer, and realized she was crying, heavily. He got up from his seat, and followed her out the door, not really sure what he was thinking.

* * *

Mayrse walked out the door, the cool air hitting her, letting her breathe a little easier. She knew she was never going to be able to fix things with her son. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the napkin, now wrinkled and damp. She felt a hand on her shoulder, and she turned to see Alec. His blue eyes were unreadable, his black hair tousled, as it always had been. He really had grown to be a attractive young man. She wondered how he had noticed her, and why he had followed her out into the street.

"Mom? I thought you were on a business trip or something." He said, and she almost sobbed. His voice in her ears. She had often wondered how he had fared, if he was even alive still. He was wearing a faded black hoodie over a blue t-shirt. He also wore faded jeans and sneakers.

"No." She whispered, turning away. Tears started to fall again. She heard his voice behind her, strong and unwavering.

"Do you really hate me that much? You can't even bare to talk to me? Are you disgusted by the sight of me?"

She turned.

"No, I never hated you Alec." She knew he was never going to believe her.

"Really? Because you sure acted like it. Do you know what Dad did to me when he saw me?" Alec said.

_yes. I'm so sorry._

_"Alec-_ she said, her voice cracking.

"He hit me- Alec said, his hand brushing his cheek, where a faint bruise and cut were still healing.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered. The bell rung again, and the boy Alec was with came through. He walked over to Alec and her, looking alarmed.

" Who's this?" He asked.

"Magnus, meet my mother." Alec answered, almost expressionless.


	16. Chapter 16

**"I can't wait for a new chapter to come out and I hope it's soon and if you don't mind I'm going to send this story to a couple of friends of mine, so they can read it, because your story is amazing. But only if you don't mind. And I CAN'T WAIT FOR ANOTHER CHAPTER TO BE UP! :)-VHS."**

**Thanks so much! and I don't mind...(: This motivated me to post a new chapter!**

**So here it is...**

**I hope you enjoy it!**

**(:**

* * *

Alec didn't really know what to think of his conversation with his mother. Magnus had called him numerous times regarding the subject, and Alec had reluctantly talked to him about it. He had realized he trusted Magnus, which was something he hadn't felt in a very long time, not since his parents had thrown him out, when he was so vulnerable. A lot of things had changed within the past few weeks. The lightwoods were staying with their cousins, the sons of Max Trueblood, Mayrse's brother. He didn't know and didn't care what his father was up to. His mother, was not doing very well, he knew. She had told him they were getting divorced, and she didn't know what was going to happen afterwards. She had said she was sorry more than once, crying. He wasn't going to trust her, but he wasn't sure if he was going to forgive her for what she did. She stood by, and that was pretty bad.

He was on his way to school, walking. It was only a mile and half, and Alec hadn't done much exercising lately anyways. He dug his hands deeper into his pockets, though it did little to shake the cold. He sighed, and was able to see his breath. It was cold.

School wasn't anything special, though nobody tormented him, which was surprising. People just stayed out of his way. Jace came up to him at lunch, and sat next to him. Alec didn't feel like eating, so he didn't. He hadn't had anything since yesterday, so he would have to have an apple or something later.

"What's up?" Jace said, taking a bite of his sandwich.

"Nothing." He answered.

"Nothing?" Jace asked.

"That's the problem." Alec said.

"why, are you bored or something?" Jace said, frowning. Alec wanted to shake him.

He sighed.

* * *

Magnus was really worried about Alec. If he were Alec, he would already have given up. Especially since the encounter with his mother. Alec had handled that well too though. Alec was strong, just as much as he was beautiful, selfless and kind.

He dialed Alec's number , for the third time. If he didn't answer, Magnus was going to have a panic attack. So much bad things happened to Alec in the past few days, it was hard not to be worried about him, all the time. He knew Alec could handle himself though, he had proved that. When Magnus was about to hang up the phone, Alec answered.

"Hello?" He said.

"It's Magnus." He said.

"Oh, hi." Alec greeted.

"I was going to have a heart attack Alexander." Magnus said.

"What!" Alec said.

Magnus didn't answer.

"You had a heart attack?" Alec said, his voice rising. Obviously Alec had heard him wrong.

"No." Magnus said, laughing.

"Magnus!" Alec said sternly.

"Okay, okay. Do you want to come over?" He asked, before he had a chance to be nervous. That was another thing. Alec made him feel nervous,something that hadn't happened before. He constantly wondered if maybe Alec liked him too, and he cared what the other boy felt about him. If he told Alec, would he destroy what they already had?

Alec seemed to think about it for a moment, before he agreed.

"Good. See you after school?" Magnus asked.

"Sure." Alec, said and hung up.

Magnus couldn't keep the smile off his face.

* * *

Alec had a uneventful day at school, which was odd.

He met Magnus by the bleachers, and began walking to the other boy's car.

"Hey." Magnus said, punching Alec lightly on the shoulder.

Alec smiled in response.

" Thanks, by the way." He said.

"For what?"Magnus asked.

"For inviting me over." Alec responded.

"Oh. Your welcome?"Magnus said, and they both got into his car. Alec knew Magnus's aunt probably wasn't going home, and he wasn't really sure if that was good or bad yet.

"So..." Magnus said, awkwardly.

"Well...how are you doing?Magnus said.

"How am I doing?" Alec repeated.

"It's a conversation starter." Magnus explained, turning onto his driveway. He really didn't live faraway form the school.

"Well, then. I'm doing fantastic." Alec said.

"Really?" Magnus inquired.

"no." Alec answered. Magnus already had asked him if he was okay, if he was doing fine, and the answer had always been no.

They then got out from the car, and Magnus pulled out a key from his pocket, and unlocked the house was exactly how Alec remembered, without trash littering the floors. He sat down on the sofa, not really sure what else to do.

"What do you want to do?" He said, voicing his thoughts.

"Um, I don't know." Magnus said frowning.

"Wanna go outside?" Magnus asked, after a few minutes of nodded, and followed him to the back porch, dimly lit by a small lantern. It was almost dark out. They sat on a swinging bench, and just looked at each other for a few moments before Alec turned his head away,blushing.

"How's your mother?" Magnus asked.

Alec sighed." I haven't talked to her since the coffee shop."

"Well, maybe you should." Magnus said.

Alec looked sideways at Magnus.

"Okay, yeah." Alec said, not really sure.

They were really close on the bench, face to face. Alec inhaled sharply, realizing he maybe kinda liked it.

* * *

Magnus like being this close to Alec, and Alec didn't look like he hated it either. Alec started to get up from the bench

"I'm gonna get water, do you want anything?" Alec asked. Magnus bit his lip. _yes..._

He pulled Alec down, so he was face to face with him.

"Just in case you don't come back." He whispered, and kissed him. He wasn't sure why, or how, but he did. Alec didn't pull away like Magnus had expected him to. He let out a gasp of surprise, but then let Magnus kiss him, kissing Magnus _back. _

_At that moment, he was the happiest person in the world._

**_did you like the malecy things?_**

**_Please R and R it means the world to me..._**

**_(:_**


	17. Chapter 17

**extremely**** sad chapter. There will be more malec though later, after they deal with things. **

**Reviews mean so much.**

**hope you enjoy**

**(:**

Alec had expected the rest of the night to be extremely awkward, but this turned out not to be the case. He actually had fun.

Wow.

* * *

Magnus was so relieved. But did the kiss even mean anything?He wished he could turn off his thoughts for a minute. All he thought about was Alec, blushing, and stuttering, his wonderful Alec. School was boring as always, but he did his best not to sleep through his classes...

* * *

Jace knew something had been bothering Alec for the past few days. He also noticed his odd new closeness to their sister. He had asked Isabelle if she knew what was up with Alec and she had only shrugged and said he had been going through alot lately. Yeah, Jace already knew all of that. He knew Isabelle wasn't telling him something. He missed the days when he and Alec had been inseparable, and they told each other everything, never hiding anything. But they both had changed, that was four years ago.

Four years ago.

Alec's birthday was yesterday and he had forgotten. He had another reason now to beat himself up. He had been so wrapped up in Clary, he hadn't noticed. He felt like a jerk and idiot. That was what he was. He decided he would ask Alec himself. He found Alec, sitting on the bleachers, absorbed with texting. It was after school, barely.

"Alec?" Jace said sitting next to Alec on the bleachers. Alec looked up, blushing. He quickly tucked his phone away. Jace wondered what that was about.

"What is it Jace?" Alec asked, still blushing.

"I know your hiding something from me, Alec." As soon as he said it, all the color drained from his face, and he looked pale as a ghost. He was obviously hiding something.

"what?" Alec said, his voice cracking.

"I don't know." Jace said, and he thought he saw Alec relax a little. Why was he trying so hard to keep his secrets locked away. Nothing could be so bad.

"You can tell me anything you know." Jace said lightly.

Alec shook his head, getting up from the bleachers and waling away, his hands in his pockets.

The past was buried, he knew.

* * *

Alec had panicked when Jace had said i know your hiding something. Had Isabelle said something. Furiously, he dialed her number. She picked up after the second ring.

"Alec, are you alright?" Isabelle asked, her voice rising.

"Fin-NO. DID YOU TELL JACE?!"He said.

There was silence.

"Isabelle." He pleaded, his voice softer.

"No. Alec, I didn't." She said.

"Good." He said, closing the phone. He heard footsteps behind him, and a familiar voice spoke in Alec's ear.

"So there is a secret." Jace had followed him, damn.

"No." Alec said firmly.

Jace took both of Alec's hands.

"What has gotten into you? Why can't you tell me? I'll handle it, I will." Jace pleaded.

"Jace." Alec whispered. Jace was gripping too hard on his hands, and one of his cuts was now throbbing . Jace followed Alec's gaze, and immediately let go of Both of the other boy's hands, and curled them into fists.

"Sorry, Alec I- Jace's voice cracked, and Alec thought he might be almost crying. He pulled Jace into a fierce hug. When they broke apart, Jace looked at Alec worriedly.

"What are you hiding?" He said.

Alec sank down to his knee's, and felt tears streaming down his face. Jace was beside him in a minute.

"I'm sorry." Alec said, wiping away tears with the back of his hand.

"It's ok-Jace began but Alec interrupted.

"It's not. Okay I mean. I can't help it, Jace I- He broke off, more tears falling down his cheeks.

"What Alec? You can't help what?" Jace asked.

"I just- I didn't think- you- He took a deep breath and started again.

"Do you know why Mom and Dad hate me? Well, I ruined our family."

"Alec-

"I can't, Change who I am. I told Dad this, and he threw me out as you know." Alec said.

"Change who you are?" Jace repeated.

"Jace, I thought you'd do the same as dad. I thought Isabelle would too. That's why didn't tell you. I was scared, of what you'd do, say." Alec continued.

"Alec, I don't know why- Jace started, but Alec started talking again.

"Jace, I'm- I- He choked out the last word. " Am Gay." Alec said, Jace just stood frozen for a moment, and Alec braced himself.

"Alec, oh." Jace said gently. It had started to rain, pasting Jace's hair to his forehead. His golden eyes blazed.

"Jace, I-

"Stop. Why didn't you tell me before now?" Jace asked.

"I told you. I wa- was scared." Alec said, his voice shaking.

Jace's eyes were rimmed with red, and Alec realized he was crying.

"It's okay, Alec. Everything is okay." Jace said, bringing Alec into another hug.

* * *

Magnus went home directly after school, having seen Alec talking to Jace. He unlocked the door to the house he shared with his aunt. He hadn't expected her there. She hadn't been home in 8 days. He was glad she'd come though.

He walked over to the couch, and the keys fell onto the floor, sounding like gunshots in the quiet house. He ran to his aunt's side, and stared down at her. Her lips and eyelids were blue, her skin pale and cold. He felt only horror, as he felt for a pulse, and found nothing. Her chest no longer rose and fell, her heart no longer beat. He felt tears rolling down his cheeks, uncontrollably. There was a red stain on the floor where she had spilled wine, the glass only a foot or so away from Magnus. Magnus took the cup off the floor, inspected it, and threw it at the ground, the glass pieces falling like rain on the hardwood. He was shaking now, too. He sunk to his knees, putting his head in his hands. How could this be happening to him? What happened to his aunt? He sobbed, then screamed, knowing nothing would ever be the same again.

_i love you, aunt Elaine. _


	18. Chapter 18

**i saw the mortal instruments movie, and it was absolutely amazing!I loved Simon the best though. I really can't wait for the malec, sizzy and clace in the books. And there are hints of Simon being a vampire. Clary seeing his bite, him not needing glasses anymore. **

**OMG!**

**I CAN'T WAIT FOR CITY OF ASHES**

**I really don't own the mortal instruments, no matter how much I want to. (shocker?)**

**Enjoy!**

**(:**

* * *

Magnus hadn't been at school for the past four days. He hadn't answered Alec's phone calls, he hadn't answered his texts. Alec was starting to worry. What happened? Was Magnus ignoring him because- of that night? When they had kissed? Alec wasn't sure if he could bear it. He wished he knew what was wrong, maybe he could help. Magnus had helped him quite a bit, over the past few weeks. He answered immediately when his phone was Magnus.

"Oh god, Why haven't you called? Are you okay?"Alec said, fighting to control his voice.

"Alec, we need to talk. Just, meet me at the coffee shop okay?" Magnus said, in a tired voice so unlike him, it made Alec shiver.

"Why?-He began, but Magnus interrupted him.

"Please?" He begged, his voice cracking. Alec agreed, then shut his phone, stuffing it into the pockets of his coat. So Magnus wanted to talk.

They were going to talk.

Alec met magnus at the coffee shop, after yet another uneventful day at school. He was wearing a black hoodie, faded jeans, and a brown tee shirt. His hair was in his eyes, which were staring down into his coffee. He wasn't dressed like himself either. What was wrong? Alec took the empty seat across from Magnus, who looked up.

"Hi." He said, halfheartedly. Something was definitely wrong.

"Magnus?" He asked, alarm laced his tone.

"Alec, I can't." He whispered, looking down at the table. His hair was covering his eyes and most of his face.

"Can't?" Alec said slowly.

"I can't be in a relationship with you." He said, still looking down at the table.

Something snapped inside of Alec. All he had been through, in the past few weeks, in the past few years, somehow wasn't as bad as this. He had been happy, even if it was only a week. Now he was broken, worse and less fixable than he'd been before.

"Okay, Fine." He said, getting up from his seat, and walking out the door to the coffee shop. Tears were falling down his face, and his cut stung, just as it had when the glass had pierced it. It was windy, and rain came down in sheets, the water dripping down Alec's face, pasting his hair to his forehead. No one could tell he was crying.

He had heard somewhere the best place to cry, was in fact in the rain.

* * *

Magnus had stared after Alec, tears rolling down his cheeks. He wished he didn't have to do this to him. He wanted to be with Alec more than almost anything. He had never felt that way about anyone before. He also worried about Alec, if Magnus was adding yet another wound, one that took more than medicine and bandages to heal. But he was almost sure Alec didn't feel about him the way he did. This was going to be harder for him, than the other boy. He kept trying to tell himself this, to try and make it better somehow. He was amazed he hadn't burst into tears when he talked to Alec, as he thought he would. But Alec deserved more than Magnus could give him. His aunt had just died, and he was a mess. He thought maybe he could get through it, until he found out where he was going. He was being shipped all the way across the country, to Portland, Oregon. His aunt had left him to her brother. He hadn't even met his uncle before.

The last thing he wanted to do was go to Oregon. He would be leaving everything, including Alec. No one was ever going to match up to Alec, no matter how much time passed, nothing was going to change how he felt about him. Alec was special, one of a kind. If Magnus had told Alec about his situation, then Alec would have wanted to find a way, maybe Skype, or visits yearly. He couldn't do that to Alec. Alec deserved someone who would always be there for him, who wasn't all the way across the country. Plus, visiting would cost him a huge chunk of his money, which he didn't have enough of. Magnus felt like this had been the only thing he could have done.

Alec deserved better.

* * *

Tessa had come over, like she did every week, bringing white roses every time. Alec thought it was nice of her to check up on him, but the last thing he felt like was company. She sat across form him on the couch, dressed in a long white coat, a purple v-neck t-shirt and blue jeans. She wore leather gloves, and boots to match.

She had asked him the questions she always did, about how he was, how his family was. She seemed to care about the answers too. Alec liked Tessa, she was one of the nicest people in this world. Genuinely. She frowned at him.

"Did Magnus tell you?" The words felt like a punch in the stomach. He remained silent.

"It's horrible isn't it? He's being moved across the country. His aunt dying, he must be a mess." Alec froze, not daring to breathe. Moved across the country? His aunt dying? He must be a mess?

He had been a mess. He hadn't talked like himself, he hadn't dressed like himself. He looked like an older version of Magnus, worn down and tired, his eyes ringed with red. So why hadn't Magnus told Alec any of this? Why had he broken up with him? Tessa studied him for a minute.

"You didn't know, did you?"


	19. Chapter 19

**okay, I know this is very short, but I need to get the story moving along. The next few chapters will definitely be more exciting. I will be really busy in the next few weeks, so I might not post very often. I just got my schedule and hooray! I plan on updating some time in the next few days, to escape the chaos. **

Magnus had stopped crying hours ago. He was now stuffing his belongings and clothes into a suitcase, everything that could fit. He was taking the truck his aunt had left to him, and driving to meet his uncle. He threw another t-shirt into his bag, furiously. He jumped when the doorbell rung. He stomped over to the door, and swung it open, ready to say something like go away, or I'm not buying what your selling.

Standing there, was Alec, his hair soaking wet. It was raining cats and dogs outside. His blue eyes were blazing.

"Your moving across the country?" He said anxiously. Magnus stepped aside, and Alec slipped past him, coming inside.

"How did you find out." He said flatly.

"Your aunt died?" He asked, ignoring Magnus's question.

"yeah." He said.

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?" He said, turning to face Magnus. His wet hair was startling against his pale skin.

"Because I couldn't." He answered.

"Couldn't?" Alec said incredulously.

"Alec-

"Do you know what I've been through these last weeks? You always knew what was up, because I told you. If your aunt died, you should tell me. If your moving across the country, then tell me. Remember the coffee shop? Did you really want to leave off like that!" He said, his bright blue eyes burning.

"I'm sorry." Was all he said. He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Really?" Alec said flatly.

Alec was standing very close to Magnus, both of them breathing hard. Alec looking so sad and angry at the same time.

"Did you really care that much?" Magnus said, quietly. He feared the answer was no. Alec flinched,a hurt look in his eyes.

"Do I? Yes! Is it really so easy to move across the country? Do I mean that little?" He said, looking broken and tired.

"I care." Magnus replied sadly.

"Right." Alec said, turning to go. Magnus felt a tear roll down his cheek.

"Alec, I- care about you." He said.

"Well, I care about you too. In fact I thought you did care about me then- Magnus took a step forward, and kissed Alec, not gently on the lips. Alec kissed him back, then broke away. His eyes were unreadable.

"Bye." Alec said, a little breathlessly.

"do you have to leave now?" Magnus asked.

Alec pulled Magnus against him, and Magnus inhaled sharply.

"Not for a while."

* * *

Jace had thought alot about Alec, and what to get him for his eighteenth birthday. Alec didn't care about clothes, and Jace hadn't seen him for the past four years. He had no idea what Alec was into. When Alec had been a kid he owned a small black digital camera, he always fooled around with. But when he left, the camera had been lost, in the process. So there Jace was, spending quite a chunk of money, on a camera. It was a long shot he knew, but maybe Alec would like the gift. Like, really like it, not pretend to just for Jace.

"Do you like it?" Jace asked, looking at Alec's shocked expression.

"Yeah." He said quietly.

"Really?" He asked anxiously.

"It's the best thing you could have gotten." Alec said with more sincerity than Jace would have thought.

"That's a relief." He said, leaning back.

Alec smiled at him, and Jace saw a tear rolling down his cheek. He brushed it away with the back of his hand.

"This must have been expensive." He observed, looking through the lenses.

Jace only nodded, hesitantly.

"Thank you." Alec said, getting to his feet, then pulling Jace into a fierce hug. He wrapped his arm's around his brother, glad he made him happy.

"You're welcome."

* * *

Alec's photograph had been showcased in the school art show, because his teacher seemed to like it, along with the rest of the class. He hadn't expected to get anything from it. He hadn't expected the letter, that offered him a scholarship at Milwaukee art had thought his photo was mediocre, not even close to amazing, as they described it. He turned the letter over in his hands, the message sinking it. On the front of the envelope, was Milwaukee Oregon. Oregon, as in the faraway place Magnus was moving to. Should he tell Magnus?

The thought of Magnus made his cheeks burn. He had left before Magnus had fallen asleep,. They had kissed for what felt like hours and hours, but was probably only maybe forty five minutes. Magnus would be only few miles from him. He decided he was lucky. But did he really want this? Was art the thing he imagined himself doing? Honestly, he hadn't thought ahead that far. He had spent so much of his time planning, but not for years ahead. He had thought about things like not being home when his parents were, or where he was going to sleep one day. He had thought about college a few months back, but he had next to no money. But they offered a scholarship.

He really didn't know.

**hope you guys like the new chapter.I know it's a bit far off, but I didn't think you guys wanted it to end in tragedy. Oh, and I love you all for the reviews. Forty is great for me. I scream every time someone tells me they like it, one time I cried happy tears once when someone said they had fallen in love with my story. So, I really appreciate reviews, and live on them. It keeps me posting. **

**Also, Should there be a sequel?**

**HMM...**


	20. Chapter 20

**months later...**

**sorry about my lack of updating, I was really busy, and this chapter was really hard to write. **

Alec was terrified. He didn't know what to expect, and he was in a completely different place. He was rooming with boy named Mark Mayburn, apparently some sort of musical genius. Alec couldn't remember.

He hadn't brought much, it wasn't like he owned a whole lot anyways. He hadn't bothered contacting his mother and father, they wouldn't care what he did, but his siblings seemed to be torn. Bittersweet, he thought.

Bitter, being things with Magnus. He hadn't even spoken to or called Magnus in months. All he knew was that Magnus was somewhere in the area, which wasn't much to go off of. He didn't know what the the other boy's plans were, or even if Magnus hated him or something.

He thought about it most days, what they could have had. He still had Magnus's phone number, but every time he dialed the number, he chickened out and hung up. If Magnus hadn't called him, he probably just didn't want to talk to Alec.

He opened the door to the room, not too surprised to see it fairly empty. Two beds, a window, white walls. A single photo was propped up on the wall, atop the nightstand. He looked closer and saw a tall girl, with long red hair and bright blue eyes. She was beautiful.

He sighed, throwing his things down onto the mattress. He eventually folded his clothes and placed them in the shared drawer, mostly gray and black sweaters. Isabelle had made him bring some other clothes too though, which he hadn't decided if he was going to wear yet. The door clicked, as his roommate stalked in. At first he didn't seem to realize Alec was even there, until he cleared his throat. Mark looked at at him with a surprised expression, his eyes traveling up and down Alec.

"Hi." Mark said.

"Um, hello." Alec answered, the awkwardness almost unbearable.

Mark smiled warmly at him, sitting up.

"Are you from around?" He asked.

"No, I'm from New York." He answered. Mark raised his eyebrows.

"That's far. ." He said.

"Yeah." Alec said a little breathlessly, thinking of his family.

"Hey, do you want to come to the cafe tonight? I'm doing a little guitar and since you don't know the city, I can sort of give you a tour, where you need to go and everything." Mark asked.

"Yeah that would be great actually." Alec answered.

Mark nodded.

"See you there."

* * *

Magnus still thought about New York every day. He remembered Java Jones, and the city, and his school...and Alec. He missed him so badly, possibly as much as he missed his aunt. He knew it was unlikely he would ever see Alec again, as he was probably having coffee with Jace or one of his friends at Java Jones.

He was sitting in the booth of a small coffee shop, occasionally sipping the steamy liquid. A tall boy with a guitar sung beautiful melodies, and Magnus was actually surprised he hadn't already made it in the biz yet. The door to the coffee shop swung open, bringing in a gust of cold air. A boy almost as tall as himself walked over to a booth near the singer, his hood covering his features. Magnus watched as he drew back the hood, rubbing his hands together. The backed his heads visible. He only saw the boy's midnight hair, which was long. The waitress came to his table, and she winked at him as she walked away, leaving a cup of coffee on the table. He sighed.

He couldn't see the boy's reaction, but he didn't look affected. He didn't even look behind him. The boy up front told everyone he'd be back the following day, and thanked them for listening. Much to his surprise, he sat across from the boy at the table. He had crazy curly blonde hair, with green eyes and flawless skin.

The black haired boy said something Magnus couldn't hear, and his friend laughed. They exited the shop together, the Blondie still laughing.

And after they left, he couldn't help thinking the laughter was familiar.

* * *

As much as he hated to admit it, he actually had a good time with Mark in those few hours. Maybe it was because Mark had absolutely nothing to do with his old life, and was surprised that he hadn't thought about his family or Magnus.

On the other hand, he felt guilty. But wasn't he supposed to let the past fall away behind him?

No, the past made him Alec, who he was.

He just wished things had happened a little differently.

Mark was looking at him, his brows furrowed. Realizing he hadn't spoken in a long time,he smiled nervously.

"I just asked you if you had a good time." Mark said, slightly tilting his head to the side.

'Oh, I had a great time." Alec answered, meaning every word.

"That's good. Did you like the songs?" Mark asked, his voice curious.

"Yeah." He said.

Since the cafe, he had Mark's song running through his head.

_your loud voice, screaming in my head, _

_Your hot breath,breathing down my neck, _

_My head spins,_

_When I make Decisions,_

_My head spins, __ooh_

_Tried to bury your influence, _

_But I was, already ruined_

_ooh_

_you left a stain, that will never wash away, _

_and broke me down, _

_threw me on the ground, _

_left me struggling, _

_left me drowning, _

_ooh_

_no more cuts and bruises, _

_No more lame excuses, _

_I'm dooone. _

He wondered how he got inspiration for such a sad song.

"Thanks." Mark said, a little quietly.

"What was the song about?" Alec asked.

Mark shrugged.

"Tell me a little bit more about yourself. I don't know more than your a New Yorker." Mark said, changing the subject.

"Oh um I don't know." Alec said, trying to dodge the question.

"Oh well." Mark said, laying back on his bed.

Yeah.

Oh well.


End file.
